Clean Dining
if you go out to eat
but have never worked in a restaurant
and haven't seen "Waiting,"
go rent it before you go to another restaurant.
exaggerated? yes, a little bit, but based on reality;
i've worked with every one of those characters at the restaurants where i've worked.
i've been the closing cook in every restaurant i've ever worked, and while experience trains you to expect it, it's still a little surprising and disappointing to see how inconsiderate people are. i go ahead and assume that they have no class, and as far as being oblivious to what they're doing, i give them the benefit of the doubt.
it's another situation where i'm left thinking 'they're lucky it's me back here'... mostly due to my past experience, i don't take my current job seriously enough to get angry, but even when i worked in high-quality, high-stress kitchens and the madness of rush time would get to me, i could never bring myself to taint other peoples food... not all of my coworkers are so ethical and patient. believe me, i've seen some gross shit go into food from the hands of angry, stressed-out or offended cooks.
so for those who haven't seen 'Waiting' and have never worked in a restaurant, here are some tips to help you avoid eating things that you don't want to eat.
(there are exceptions, of course, but being that most people don't eat exclusively at high-end restaurants staffed with people who work there because they want to, this set of tips is almost universally applicable, especially to corporate chain restaurants)
1. be aware and mindful of the restaurant's business hours. - keep in mind that the workers don't live at the building, and they don't want to be there any later than they have to. during the last hour of business, the kitchen staff is attempting to clean and prep for tomorrow as much as possible, and the closer it is to closing time, the more annoyed they are at an order. showing up 30 minutes before closing time is risky, but if it must be done, get something quick and easy. for fucksake, don't order a large platter, a well-done steak(or any steak for that matter), at 15 till--for every five minutes closer to closing time, yr chances of eating bodily fluids or worse grows exponentially.
2. that's a menu, not a list of ingredients -- cooks don't admire yr impeccable taste when you show it by altering the menu items. asking for something to be omitted is ok, but people who make multiple substitutions or need to specify how every little part of the meal needs to be in order to be satisfied should really stop going out. learn to cook...cooks hate you.
3. leave your power trip at the door -- yes, we understand that all week you are a slave to yr shitty job but that gives you no right to enter the restaurant and act superior and unsatisfiable to anyone who works there. we are not slaves, nor are we inferior to you. in fact, we're making fun of you in the back, plus, all of our fingers have been in yr food--yr behavior just might decide how clean those fingers are.
this brings us to the golden rule of restaurant manners:
You don't fuck with the people who prepare yr food.
think about it.
thanks for coming in,
see you next time!*
come back and visit us again--
*do you really not know what service professionals are saying when they say this to you?
if you go out to eat
but have never worked in a restaurant
and haven't seen "Waiting,"
go rent it before you go to another restaurant.
exaggerated? yes, a little bit, but based on reality;
i've worked with every one of those characters at the restaurants where i've worked.
i've been the closing cook in every restaurant i've ever worked, and while experience trains you to expect it, it's still a little surprising and disappointing to see how inconsiderate people are. i go ahead and assume that they have no class, and as far as being oblivious to what they're doing, i give them the benefit of the doubt.
it's another situation where i'm left thinking 'they're lucky it's me back here'... mostly due to my past experience, i don't take my current job seriously enough to get angry, but even when i worked in high-quality, high-stress kitchens and the madness of rush time would get to me, i could never bring myself to taint other peoples food... not all of my coworkers are so ethical and patient. believe me, i've seen some gross shit go into food from the hands of angry, stressed-out or offended cooks.
so for those who haven't seen 'Waiting' and have never worked in a restaurant, here are some tips to help you avoid eating things that you don't want to eat.
(there are exceptions, of course, but being that most people don't eat exclusively at high-end restaurants staffed with people who work there because they want to, this set of tips is almost universally applicable, especially to corporate chain restaurants)
1. be aware and mindful of the restaurant's business hours. - keep in mind that the workers don't live at the building, and they don't want to be there any later than they have to. during the last hour of business, the kitchen staff is attempting to clean and prep for tomorrow as much as possible, and the closer it is to closing time, the more annoyed they are at an order. showing up 30 minutes before closing time is risky, but if it must be done, get something quick and easy. for fucksake, don't order a large platter, a well-done steak(or any steak for that matter), at 15 till--for every five minutes closer to closing time, yr chances of eating bodily fluids or worse grows exponentially.
2. that's a menu, not a list of ingredients -- cooks don't admire yr impeccable taste when you show it by altering the menu items. asking for something to be omitted is ok, but people who make multiple substitutions or need to specify how every little part of the meal needs to be in order to be satisfied should really stop going out. learn to cook...cooks hate you.
3. leave your power trip at the door -- yes, we understand that all week you are a slave to yr shitty job but that gives you no right to enter the restaurant and act superior and unsatisfiable to anyone who works there. we are not slaves, nor are we inferior to you. in fact, we're making fun of you in the back, plus, all of our fingers have been in yr food--yr behavior just might decide how clean those fingers are.
this brings us to the golden rule of restaurant manners:
You don't fuck with the people who prepare yr food.
think about it.
thanks for coming in,
see you next time!*
come back and visit us again--
*do you really not know what service professionals are saying when they say this to you?