if it were anyone else i would have said fuck off a long time ago.
she doesn't call, when she's not going to show up. she doesn't write.
she's the only one other than my mother that has the power to fuck me up when they let me down...she's the only one who has proven it.
she's the only one i allow myself to become excited over and therefore, its my fault that i'm bummed out she didn't show up.
i'd be angry if she lived across town, but put three hours away, shitty weather and a questionable car into the equation and how can i be mad?
she has no idea what i did in preparation for her staying with me this weekend, and she never will:
shaved against the grain so's to be smooth, got a haircut, baked a cake, painted my toenails, vacuumed the house, took the weekend off of work, did the dishes, bought a shitload of vegetables, washed my sheets, folded my laundry, imported chocolate from germany, and even left the seat down.
and then she didn't show up.
sent her an email. probably would have done more good if i would have sent it to myself.
all it said was: "please don't do this to me anymore."
if it were anyone else, i would have said fuck off.
a week from today, i'll be in new orleans.
home.
a week from tomorrow i'll be delirious and sleep deprived, working a 7 hour shift after 2 days of wandering the streets of new orleans.
godspeed to ya sir.
to anyone who reads this:
pay attention, something unexpected and beautiful in the next 12 hours. you will find yrself smiling, thinking "shit...that guy said this would happen."
she doesn't call, when she's not going to show up. she doesn't write.
she's the only one other than my mother that has the power to fuck me up when they let me down...she's the only one who has proven it.
she's the only one i allow myself to become excited over and therefore, its my fault that i'm bummed out she didn't show up.
i'd be angry if she lived across town, but put three hours away, shitty weather and a questionable car into the equation and how can i be mad?
she has no idea what i did in preparation for her staying with me this weekend, and she never will:
shaved against the grain so's to be smooth, got a haircut, baked a cake, painted my toenails, vacuumed the house, took the weekend off of work, did the dishes, bought a shitload of vegetables, washed my sheets, folded my laundry, imported chocolate from germany, and even left the seat down.
and then she didn't show up.
sent her an email. probably would have done more good if i would have sent it to myself.
all it said was: "please don't do this to me anymore."
if it were anyone else, i would have said fuck off.
a week from today, i'll be in new orleans.
home.
a week from tomorrow i'll be delirious and sleep deprived, working a 7 hour shift after 2 days of wandering the streets of new orleans.
godspeed to ya sir.
to anyone who reads this:
pay attention, something unexpected and beautiful in the next 12 hours. you will find yrself smiling, thinking "shit...that guy said this would happen."