kloiterra

i didn't think it would bother me much,
i mean, for fuck sake i'm 36--really, who gives a shit anymore
but once i thought about it, it snowballed--
if it wasn't the most horrific time of year to begin with,
to have a birthday in the middle of it all really sucks.
there were a million posts on facebook and all,
but is that really...
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according to my transcripts, my college career spanned 17 years.
granted, a good decade of that was not exactly concentrated study.
i suppose it hit me as i was lying in bed last night, a hypnogogic tickle that set a wide smile across my face.
and then i started laughing, and i kept laughing while i wondered if the neighbors could hear me. i couldn't...
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i went for a quick smoke break and when i returned to the kitchen, the bartender, Dori, an oldschool country gal who's in her late 50s, was heating something up in the microwave. in my usual kitchen manager fashion, i jokingly shouted "hairnet! hairnet!" to which she replied "relax, i'm wearing pantyhose."

fall break again; a long weekend with no direction, no obligations
but today this freedom is my burden, i pour myself onto the streets
without direction like writing without a point to make.
you'll see.
another substandard and overpriced latte at the Granada
served by a mustachioed man in a black cowboy hat;
kind of ruined before having been given a chance to be as...
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Lifetime Fitness(PE 101) is a required class that i should have finished four years ago,
but i've been putting it off. two months from graduation, and i'm finally fulfilling that requirement.
part of the class is to go to the university's rec center, take the tour, then participate in one of the group classes. i was bummed that my friend George isn't teaching yoga up...
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yesterday i was standing out front of my place having a smoke
and i noticed a mantis on the door frame of the adjoining unit.
i went over and said hi, and held out my hand.
then i noticed that there was another one.
i picked them both up and inspected them closely
while they did the same to me
from the enormous floating platform...
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1. the trick to appearing confident is to act like a confident person until your impersonation is second-nature.

my advanced poetry professor is a jazz drummer. we've talked about the fact that i am a multi-instrumentalist who played percussion for a local jazz band a couple years ago.
"Do you play out much?" he asked me a couple weeks ago.
i haven't performed live since...
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mourning the loss of a friend
sometimes you walk away knowing you'll never see that person again.
sometimes you walk away wondering if you will.
it's unsettling when someone tells you they'll never talk to you again
and yr pretty sure that they mean it.
you watch them erase yr number from their phone
while images of things that were born in the 'us' before...
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ceremony p 2
Days 2&3 - Saturday and Sunday
before bed, em was going crazy, all fucked up and irrationally-yet-predictably stressed out about the impending ceremony. at one point i saw brad put a xanax in her mouth, a move that looked like it had been well-rehearsed. the morning after, there was no mention of the neuroticism and near-psychosis of the night before. the bridesmaids...
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ceremony the first
Day 1 - it was friday; shave day.
tomorrow would be brad's wedding day.
as it was my first official ceremony, of course i needed a superior shave, so i loaded new blades in my double and single edge razors.
it took a while to learn, but i know how to shave.
we all make mistakes. i loaded the single edge blade...
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impromptu poem via fb messages
may 26 2011
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pnw bound

last time someone told me you were moving to washington
i was seriously shitfaced,
wandering the streets of new orleans
and i cried like a little bitch.

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and now something you'll really like:
i performed my first wedding ceremony last weekend
story coming soon

aftermath, day 3
over the last year and a half, i've done a lot of complaining to a lot of people. i've said since day one that there didn't seem to be much passion. she came on strong at first, and i felt smothered; she questioned my fidelity and had trust and jealousy issues, especially when it came to my female friends, so to avoid...
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