ok, so my 21st birthday wasn't very interesting but the night before was fucking crazy. here's the story:
Saturday the 27th, AKA Fantasy Fest. I go down to Key West with a few friends. One of which happened to be dressed as a sexy chesire cat (hawt) and while we're downtown the Ex-fiance of said sexy-lady starts following us around. Creeped me the fuck out and made her a bit uncomfortable. Then we find a great spot to watch the parade from. We had to ignore the crazy bible-thumping, sermon-spouting protesters that had set up nearby, and by ignore i mean totally fuck with. Luckily they shut up as the parade started. The next hour and a half was tittyshaking, bead-throwing, music blaring fun. Then we went to Margaritaville (yes its a real place, not just a song) and chilled for a bit. Then I had to sort of split off from the group because they all had work the next day. I met up with my brother at Sloppy Joe's and then the drinking started.
Since my birthday was the 28th I had to wait 'til midnight but that worked out fine. We started out with a few beers and just hung out at the pier. Then when we were leaving a middle aged woman who was passing by stopped us and asked
"You two guyswould fuck me right?" She was good looking so we said yes.
"Well THIS ASSHOLE is trying to make it sound like it's a chore to go to bed with me." We tried to wrangle a 3-way. Didn't happen. Oh well, worth a try.
Then more drinking! My brother and I went to highschool with one of the bartenders at Irish Kevins and she hooked us up. We also met up with another friend from highschool named joe. He was adamant that I not pay for anything that night. So he buys me a shot and says he'll tell me what it is after I drink it. I take the shot and then he says "Liquid Cocaine". Now a normal person would just think that was a funny name for a drink. My drunk ass however thought I had just imbibed some form of illegal narcotic. The already thin and flimsy wall that seperates what I want to say and what comes out of my mouth had fallen down thanks to some heineken keg cans. "What the fuck man? I'm 21 not a columbian drug lord!" After that there was more drinking. Things got a bit fuzzier in my memory. There was some stumbling and a chick with a great airbrushed rack. A petite woman with a jeweled g-string apparently lept on me like we were in a scooby doo cartoon and then I took a picture with my Immortal mask on next a Spartan and wife. Then I passed out in the gutter.
My brother woke me up by saying If i didn't get up "right the fuck now" I was going to get thrown in the drunk tank. Turns out it was a lie but w/e. Another minute or so later and I passed out again and woke up in the passenger seat of my cousin's SUV on the side of the highway. I had dirt all over my hands and traces of what looked like vomit on my right pant leg. "wheeeere the fuuuuuuck are we?" my brother just laughed and said "I said the exact same thing yesterday morning. Welcome to hangover."
We went back home and cleaned up, then had a nice dinner. Halfway through dinner I realized I hadn't eaten since friday. Thomas (my brother) said that even if I had, it would have ended up in the enormous pile of vomit I created. When questioned he produced a series of pictures on his phone where I layed in the gutter throwing up all over beads and plastic cups. Then we had cake. all in all, everyone had fun.
repeat
Saturday the 27th, AKA Fantasy Fest. I go down to Key West with a few friends. One of which happened to be dressed as a sexy chesire cat (hawt) and while we're downtown the Ex-fiance of said sexy-lady starts following us around. Creeped me the fuck out and made her a bit uncomfortable. Then we find a great spot to watch the parade from. We had to ignore the crazy bible-thumping, sermon-spouting protesters that had set up nearby, and by ignore i mean totally fuck with. Luckily they shut up as the parade started. The next hour and a half was tittyshaking, bead-throwing, music blaring fun. Then we went to Margaritaville (yes its a real place, not just a song) and chilled for a bit. Then I had to sort of split off from the group because they all had work the next day. I met up with my brother at Sloppy Joe's and then the drinking started.
Since my birthday was the 28th I had to wait 'til midnight but that worked out fine. We started out with a few beers and just hung out at the pier. Then when we were leaving a middle aged woman who was passing by stopped us and asked
"You two guyswould fuck me right?" She was good looking so we said yes.
"Well THIS ASSHOLE is trying to make it sound like it's a chore to go to bed with me." We tried to wrangle a 3-way. Didn't happen. Oh well, worth a try.
Then more drinking! My brother and I went to highschool with one of the bartenders at Irish Kevins and she hooked us up. We also met up with another friend from highschool named joe. He was adamant that I not pay for anything that night. So he buys me a shot and says he'll tell me what it is after I drink it. I take the shot and then he says "Liquid Cocaine". Now a normal person would just think that was a funny name for a drink. My drunk ass however thought I had just imbibed some form of illegal narcotic. The already thin and flimsy wall that seperates what I want to say and what comes out of my mouth had fallen down thanks to some heineken keg cans. "What the fuck man? I'm 21 not a columbian drug lord!" After that there was more drinking. Things got a bit fuzzier in my memory. There was some stumbling and a chick with a great airbrushed rack. A petite woman with a jeweled g-string apparently lept on me like we were in a scooby doo cartoon and then I took a picture with my Immortal mask on next a Spartan and wife. Then I passed out in the gutter.
My brother woke me up by saying If i didn't get up "right the fuck now" I was going to get thrown in the drunk tank. Turns out it was a lie but w/e. Another minute or so later and I passed out again and woke up in the passenger seat of my cousin's SUV on the side of the highway. I had dirt all over my hands and traces of what looked like vomit on my right pant leg. "wheeeere the fuuuuuuck are we?" my brother just laughed and said "I said the exact same thing yesterday morning. Welcome to hangover."
We went back home and cleaned up, then had a nice dinner. Halfway through dinner I realized I hadn't eaten since friday. Thomas (my brother) said that even if I had, it would have ended up in the enormous pile of vomit I created. When questioned he produced a series of pictures on his phone where I layed in the gutter throwing up all over beads and plastic cups. Then we had cake. all in all, everyone had fun.
repeat
Talk about a crazy fucking night!!!!