I was thinking at work yesterday about all this stuff that I should write about in my next journal post, so this may be a long entry. Someone chastise me if I don't include a naked pic at the end to make it all worth it, eh?
It occurred to me a few evenings ago that I have about a month and a half to find a new place to live. The beau and I will be living together at this time, and it is unlikely that he and I will be moving to a new city before August, so we need a short lease in a decent place for the summer. The first few things I've looked at haven't turned up anything encouraging. It'd be nice if I could just call up the landlord of the place I'm currently in and ask to extend my lease for about 3 months. 'Course, I'll have to find out when the roommate is moving out, and get the landlord's number from her and all... Bleh.
I really can't wait to get out of this place - for a lot of reasons. It feels like I've just drifted away from all of my friends to the extent that I pretty much feel like I've lost all my connections to anybody. I hate hanging out with my roommate these days - everytime we do hang out, she makes me feel like I'm completely stupid, which I know I'm not. Silly, yes, and perhaps a little spacey and whatnot, but not stupid. But she has this air that she knows everything, and when I offer somethign to the conversation, I just get this awful patronizing look and tone from her. I don't like it, and I don't know how long I've put up with it. As for the rest of my friends, I just feel like most of them would really rather not have me around. Pretty sure I make a bunch of people a little uncomfortable, but it's still not a nice feeling. So yeah, it feels like my beau is my only friend, the only person I can really spend any time with, and I'm really fucking lonely. It's been getting me down. Living in a new place, at least, should help me shake this feeling like I'm a complete unwanted outcast. It's not like me to feel this way, which is the worst part of it all.
I've also decided that someone should make another Reanimator movie. I'm thinking Blood of Reanimator, starring Jeffrey Combs and Bruce Campbell. That would probably kick some serious ass, no? I get to see Bride of Reanimator (actually doing a full Reanimator marathon) on Saturday, so that makes me pretty happy.
I saw The Producers with my mom last night from the national touring group. Living in South Dakota, I've pretty much resigned myself to seeing perfomances phoned in from touring companies doing big shows. Sort of the attitude that "Hey, it's Bumfuck South Dakota, they wouldn't know a good show if it bit 'em in the face, so why put a lot of effort into it." Carmen, two years ago, was totally like that. It just blew. This show, however, was AWESOME!!! If these guys were phoning it in, I couldn't tell. The gent playing Max fucking amazed me with his energy. Well, the whole cast did, to be honest, and it was really something great to see. The Producers was one of my favorite movies since high school (top five, without a doubt) so I've always wondered how the musical would end up. I haven't seen the recent film version of the musical, but I don't care anymore.
Speaking of seeing my mom, I also finally got to show her the new tattoo, which she of course loved. She was very impressed, but then she's wanted a tattoo for a long time, but has always been afraid of the pain. I told her that if she got one, I'd go with her for it, but she just laughed. One more way in which she's sort of living vicariously through me - not that I object, because I'm doing everything that I genuinely want to do. Some of these things just happen to be things that she's also wanted to do as well (though I doubt posing nude is one of them.
)
All in all, life is just about as good as it ever is, I expect. In spite of the loneliness, and the pressure to find a new place to live, I am pretty happy, and I've got things to look forward to, which of course helps.
Heh. Almost forgot the naked pic.
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It occurred to me a few evenings ago that I have about a month and a half to find a new place to live. The beau and I will be living together at this time, and it is unlikely that he and I will be moving to a new city before August, so we need a short lease in a decent place for the summer. The first few things I've looked at haven't turned up anything encouraging. It'd be nice if I could just call up the landlord of the place I'm currently in and ask to extend my lease for about 3 months. 'Course, I'll have to find out when the roommate is moving out, and get the landlord's number from her and all... Bleh.
I really can't wait to get out of this place - for a lot of reasons. It feels like I've just drifted away from all of my friends to the extent that I pretty much feel like I've lost all my connections to anybody. I hate hanging out with my roommate these days - everytime we do hang out, she makes me feel like I'm completely stupid, which I know I'm not. Silly, yes, and perhaps a little spacey and whatnot, but not stupid. But she has this air that she knows everything, and when I offer somethign to the conversation, I just get this awful patronizing look and tone from her. I don't like it, and I don't know how long I've put up with it. As for the rest of my friends, I just feel like most of them would really rather not have me around. Pretty sure I make a bunch of people a little uncomfortable, but it's still not a nice feeling. So yeah, it feels like my beau is my only friend, the only person I can really spend any time with, and I'm really fucking lonely. It's been getting me down. Living in a new place, at least, should help me shake this feeling like I'm a complete unwanted outcast. It's not like me to feel this way, which is the worst part of it all.
I've also decided that someone should make another Reanimator movie. I'm thinking Blood of Reanimator, starring Jeffrey Combs and Bruce Campbell. That would probably kick some serious ass, no? I get to see Bride of Reanimator (actually doing a full Reanimator marathon) on Saturday, so that makes me pretty happy.
I saw The Producers with my mom last night from the national touring group. Living in South Dakota, I've pretty much resigned myself to seeing perfomances phoned in from touring companies doing big shows. Sort of the attitude that "Hey, it's Bumfuck South Dakota, they wouldn't know a good show if it bit 'em in the face, so why put a lot of effort into it." Carmen, two years ago, was totally like that. It just blew. This show, however, was AWESOME!!! If these guys were phoning it in, I couldn't tell. The gent playing Max fucking amazed me with his energy. Well, the whole cast did, to be honest, and it was really something great to see. The Producers was one of my favorite movies since high school (top five, without a doubt) so I've always wondered how the musical would end up. I haven't seen the recent film version of the musical, but I don't care anymore.
Speaking of seeing my mom, I also finally got to show her the new tattoo, which she of course loved. She was very impressed, but then she's wanted a tattoo for a long time, but has always been afraid of the pain. I told her that if she got one, I'd go with her for it, but she just laughed. One more way in which she's sort of living vicariously through me - not that I object, because I'm doing everything that I genuinely want to do. Some of these things just happen to be things that she's also wanted to do as well (though I doubt posing nude is one of them.
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All in all, life is just about as good as it ever is, I expect. In spite of the loneliness, and the pressure to find a new place to live, I am pretty happy, and I've got things to look forward to, which of course helps.
Heh. Almost forgot the naked pic.
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VIEW 8 of 8 COMMENTS
monkyluv:
You look so great naked. thanks.
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aesirr:
I worry that sometimes I'm a bit know it all like, but generally the fact I worry about it puts a measure of control onto the proceedings.