kizmet

i know because i was also broken as a child and forced to become a wicked conniving selfish manipulating monster in order to protect the fragile love-hungry girl who would have been destroyed by the life i had to lead. i know how it feels to be an enemy to myself.and yet i have set that behind me and gone on and i can take you by the hand and show you the way.
except that i don't know the way, and i am still broken, and the love hungry girl is still frightened and breakable, and the strong and wicked monster is still the ruler of my life, and my god will die because i have nothing to give you. you need ambrosia, and i am only plain water. no, i am seawater, swirling with sand at the edge of the shore, filled with salt; you will drink of me and kill yourself with thirst.