kittypiefacehead

A Series of Unfortunate Events.

Disclaimer :: Hang onto your hats kids, this is going to be a very emo ride.

I am the Pit of Jack's Stomach.
I can see goosbumps through my tattoo. It's not even recocnizable as skin to me right now. Everything seems unimportant. Typing seems more mechanical and insignificant than ever tonight. I am cold and numb and devestated and a repressed, emotional wreck. I can't even be open with the blankness of the update box staring at me. It just makes me feel like it's reflecting my emptyness.

I am Jill's Heart.
He emailed me an appology. He said he wants to try to get us back somewhere close to how we used to be together. He's trying. I'm trying.

I am Jack's Raging Bile Duct.
I received a phone call from Ian telling me Justin is in the ICU right now. He's been a good friend of mine since the beginning of highschool. We were all major parts of eachother's lives growing up and have definitely kept in touch. He was in a rather horrific motorcycle accident on the highway. I accidentally dialed his phone number yesterday around 3 PM. I missed a call from him at 12:41 AM. Ian said his accident was around 12:30 AM. I wish I would have just let the phone ring and talk to him instead of hanging up because I didn't want to bother him. I wish I would have heard the phone ring at a quarter to one. I don't believe in coincidence anymore than I did before. I have heard that his liver is ruptured, his spine is fractured, ribs possibly broken, leg broken in 3 places, hands torn up, and is possibly paralyzed from the waist down. I've felt an intense need to vomit since that phone call. I cried instead. I keep thinking about all of the times we spent together and that just makes me cry more. Invisible Monsters and V for Vendetta echo in my skull too many phrases that make too much sense. Steve called out of nowhere and I completely expected him to be another bearer of bad news. Instead he was really helpful and caring. I went to Kaylee's to vent, but couldn't really let down. It was nice to be around people though. I'm having a lot of trouble writing this.

I am Jill's Faltering Equilibrium.
Kaylee's sister drove by the accident on her way home and saw the motorcycle under a car and helmet down the road. She didn't know it was my friend's mangled motorcycle and missing helmet at the time.

I am Jack's Total Lack of Suprise.
I called Mark's house to tell him about Justin and got his mom instead. She was very pleasant and talked to me for a moment about the situation eventhough she had already heard the news. I asked her to tell Mark to call me because even after almost an entire year of him not returning my calls, I still want him in my life. He hasn't called back. If tragedy doesn't bring him out of his hole, what will? Is it going to take a funeral for all of us to see eachother again?

I am Jill's Twisted Nerve.
I don't like it when I can't have all of my friends hang out in the same room or go to venues because it will upset an already sore situation. I also don't like it when I try to talk to my friend about something very important and they are too drunk and emotional about something trivial to be there.

I am Jack's Grinding Teeth.
I haven't had access to the Internet in my home for most of this week. Our provider had been charging us for cable TV that we didn't actually receive for about 3 months. We asked them nicely to remove that from our bill, but they didn't, so we were charged late fees on bills for services we weren't receiving. They finally took us off of the list, but took our Internet along with it. So here I have been disconnected from my virtual world(s) unless I go to my parent's house or studio orKaylee's.

I am Jill's Cold Sweat.
Aaron came home from work yesterday. Aaron came home from work yesterday because his job isn't safe. His bosses know a Heroin dealer who frequents the shop and gets free work too often. Despite my lack of agreement with their choices, drug dealers don't bother me if they keep their job separate. It's their life to do with what they please. Unfortunately this particular dealer was robbed at gun point on Monday and is still being pursued. The keys to his cars and houses were stolen, so he went to the locksmith and car installation business Aaron works for. He went there with a gun because he's afraid of the people who are looking for him. Jumpy, paranoid, Heroin dealers with guns and addicts with guns in hot pursuit is not a situation anyone should be a part of. And we can't turn anyone in because they know where we live and I've heard to many stories with bad endings concerning things of this nature.

I am Jill's Analytical Nerve Center
Have I told you all of the horrendous school fiasco? I don't think I did, so I will now.
I have almost 70 credits from 3 colleges right now. The institution that honored the most credits won my application, so I re-enrolled at a college of art and design that I had previously attended. This college is currently switching from a five year Bachelor program to a four-year program. My counselor told me that I would be admitted into the new 4-year program with two years left to complete my degree. My acceptance letter did not state which program I was admitted to, but said I was a 3rd year Drawing Major. I took this to mean what we had discussed previously. I double-checked with my scheduling counselor two and a half weeks before classes were to begin. This is when he informed me it was in fact the five-year program that I was on track to complete. I was prepared to take that blow in stride until I spoke with my scholarship program and financial aid advisors. My financial aid runs out in two years. My dad is still out of a job, eventhough he has had interviews almost every week. The expected contribution of my household is more than any of us make combined. I could take out more loans. However, I already have loans and am trying to avoid further debt. After explaining the current financial situation to the college, they told me that I must not have been fairly reviewed and would take another look to see where they could possibly make adjustments. Monday rolled around with a similar story, plus an apology for the confusion they had caused. Luckily, I had meetings scheduled with two other colleges that day just in case I would need more options. They turned out to be very helpful and informative.
Tuesday was spent withdrawing from the art institute and applying at a local community college to gain general education credits that will transfer to a state university. I am enrolled in two Philosophy courses, one Sociology, one Psychology, and a Visual Communications/Design course. This semester looks promising, to be honest. I enjoy the areas in which I'll be studying. It doesn't look like I'll have much more than a year acquiring the rest of my basic credits. After this I'll transfer to the state university in order to finish a Bachelor's Degree in the one area I've never been able to take seriously, but am realizing is applicable, useful, and something I have experience and talent in. Wish me luck as an aspiring Graphic Designer.
My financial aid covers more than is needed to attend the community college, which means they will also be paying for my books and supplies. Score. Another score is that I will not be alone in this endeavor.

I am Jill's Akward Sense of Gratitude.
Magic isn't the right word, but it's the first one that comes to mind. I don't believe in magic the way I wish it existed, the way it looks in movies. Someone told me they were sending me magic in the mail. The thought alone is certainly appreciated. I have a hard time accepting things like compliments, help, and money. Forgive me for not knowing how to say "thank you."

I am Jack's Random Eye Movement.
I saw a humming bird a couple days ago for the first time in my entire life. It was like seeing a mythological creature like a unicorn or some other beast of fantasy.

We will be having a roomie again. I'm not surprised and I'm a little relieved to have some financial burden lightened around here, even if I am slightly nervous. But hey, every roomie situation has its stressful points. I'm sure this won't be anything we all can't handle.

I've gone to sleep watching a movie every night this week. The lineup thus far has consisted of Anchorman, SG Burlesque DVD, Wayne's World, Empire Records, Waiting, and Super Troopers.