kittykatznme

Well, this is going to be a bit of a catch-up blog. Jen went into cardiac intensive care last Tuesday, and she got out today. We now have a timeline of what is going to happen. In November, she is going to have an internal defibrillator implanted, it is very similar to a pacemaker, but jump starts the heart if it stops. If that does not work, they will install a pacemaker as well. Last resort, and I have been told that this will eventually happen, she will need a new heart. While she was in the hospital, she was checked for sleep apnea, she stops breathing a lot while she sleeps. It is one of the most severe cases that the Dr had ever seen, it even has a name, but I can't remember it. It is possible that the c-pap machine that they lent her will fix the apnea and she will be much more rested. The sleep that she gets now is just not restful because of the apnea. Now that brings us to her release today. I get to the hospital to pick her up, and her mother is there. She doesn't fully understand what is going on, so sometimes she focuses on one detail, and talks about it ad nauseum. Example; last time Jen was in CIC, her blood pressure dropped and her heart stopped twice. She was given a drug that she had stopped taking, now her mother is playing conspiracy guy. She thinks that the drug caused everything and because it was not written in her chart that they are trying to cover it up. Her cardiologist says that even an overdose would not cause her heart to stop and her blood pressure to drop. Everything that happened is probably more a result of her not being able to keep her pills down for the month before she finally went to the hospital. According to her mother, they are all hiding the truth to protect themselves.
The last thing that I need to say about today is that I got so mad at Jen, and I am still mad at her. I saw her list of meds, and there were a few changes. I expected this, but then I saw that she was supposed to stop an anti-depressant, apparently it can affect the heart. OK, sure, but she should be weaned off of it, when I went cold turkey once, I went nuts for quite a few days, and I thought that it would be stressful for her, as well as me. She tells me that she hasn't been taking it for more than a month. What!? Why didn't you tell me? I didn't want to upset you. She has withheld information before, and I have been very upset because of it. I told her this today, I was pissed that she didn't tell me. She didn't want to upset me, well, I am not upset, I am pissed off. Are you holding back anything else? She says no, but I tell her, how do I know you are telling me the truth now? All of this is hard enough without her holding back information. iI know that I am going to sound like an asshole, but if she is not going to be truthful with me, I don't know how long I can be by her side. If she can't bring her self to tell me everything that is going on, how does she expect me to do all that I do for her and sacrifice so much for her.