kitsune76

Well, after a slightly disappointing weekend wityh a potential orgasm friend that turned into us just beingf friends, Icome back, fall ill, have bizarre bruises all over my body and an infgected finger and get told by my doctor 'I think there's something wrong with your blood'

And I had a con in two days that I sduspect I'll not be able to go to....
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Oh *Goddess*....

*Republican* punk rockers?

That's it. Kill me now. I don't think I want to live on this planet any more.

So, I've not been updating or commenting on anything on my friendsl ists. This is bad. Unfortunately this may continue for a while as it has to be said I am very very busy, either with work, trying to find work, sorting out housing, or just...trying to find something to do with my life.

See, this is why I stay an outsider. When I drift...
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Y'know, I suspect I waited too long for the other shoe to drop and dropped it myself.

So tomorrow I work an 8 hour day then go into town to do some unpaid work for my old company because I sort-of owe them and want to keep them sweet.

Man, I'm going to die!!!!

But at least inside she's a Happy Goth

Oh. My. God.

I went to see Shaun of the Dead today with a friend (guy but also great big geek so that's always fun) expecting to see a very good film.

Instead I saw a *fantastic* film.

I'll put in some spoiler space here for those of you who want to see it without knowing details.

S
P
O
I
L
E
R

S...
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I aent ded

But life is just...well, OK, somewhere between dull and great. It's certainly busy - busy with work mostly, which y'all prolly don't want to hear about, and I don't get stuff to post about.

I am mostly bored right now though. Bored and oh so increadibly lonely. Mostly cos I have realised that you can't try to date without sparkage and I've...
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I hate having nothing to say.

Actually, I hate routine. Loving having work, hating how hard it is to try and do anything else. But I'm beginning to suspect that's part of my personality;; a general problem I have.

I also think I'm reverting to slightly scary distance bitch. It's a defence I enjoy and need to be careful of because it's related to the...
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Well I *was* but now it all feels yuck again.

*sigh*

It's my health. See, I've hjad this right temple/sinus pain for about a month now, on and off but the worst time it lasted a week(!) And then suddenly it went for four whole days and I thought 'oh! Am I better?' But no, tyemporary respite only because it then came back. Not as...
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No damning admissions but I *think* I might be showing signs of getting a grip...

More later, when there's breathing space.

My life? Oh it's just *peachy*!

Yes, that was sarcasm.

No, I don't really want to share right now. Maybei n a day or so. But man, the word for the week is 'draining'. And possibly 'oh for *crying outl oud*!' Or maybe even 'OK, even *I* think my family life is weird now'.

Feh.

So, there I was, dealing but angry (er, still am angry but in a more under the surface, reasonably streamlined way), when another discussion ensued last Monday in which I realised somethging else. I have this love/hate relationship with being grotesque. I hate it because I don't *want* to be grotesque and am tired of being *seen* as grotesque (and for those of you who...
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Well, the last week has been all funky fresh and fun!

[/sarcasm]

Bizarrely, the breakup last week was not he worst event of the week. No, that was reserved for the life changing revelations stemming from a massive argument with my parents.

See, what many online folk don't know unless I state it is that I'm physically disabled. Cerebral palsy, moderate, enough that I need...
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