you want to know how bad of a night i had
lets start with the fact that
i cried:
as i was walking to the L train
as i was waiting for the L train
as i was riding the L train from bedford ave to 8th ave
as i was waiting for the A train
as i was riding the A train from 14th street to one-hundred-and-eighty-i-live-in-the-middle-of-fuckin-no-where-street
i dont cry in front of my best friend, or anyone really for that matter. so you can just put that into perspective, the fact that i was crying in public for 2 hours.
and do you want to know what i learned tonight
1. there is no such thing as a true friend. they will all forget about you if the motive is great enough. and..
2. I, personally (apparently), cannot talk to (meaning anything beyond mundane brainless small talk about the weather and school) any male who has a girlfriend, engaged, or married because the female counterpart to the relationship apparently will always think that i am hitting on whatever guy and therefor hate me. even when i did nothing wrong. and then when i go to tell my best friend about what happened she says "can you get out of my face? im trying to have a serious conversation" which leads back to point #1. which leads to....
the moral of tonight...i am to my limit with people's bullshit. you thought i was an introvert before...you have no idea. the door to my brain, mind, heart, soul...it has all been shut. you can leave a message at the beep but i highly doubt i will ever return the call. i am just done...i dont even know how else to state it. done.
"lets burn while we still have nerves, love while we still have hearts, need while we still can break and sing while we still have breath. this is the resignation"
lets start with the fact that
i cried:
as i was walking to the L train
as i was waiting for the L train
as i was riding the L train from bedford ave to 8th ave
as i was waiting for the A train
as i was riding the A train from 14th street to one-hundred-and-eighty-i-live-in-the-middle-of-fuckin-no-where-street
i dont cry in front of my best friend, or anyone really for that matter. so you can just put that into perspective, the fact that i was crying in public for 2 hours.
and do you want to know what i learned tonight
1. there is no such thing as a true friend. they will all forget about you if the motive is great enough. and..
2. I, personally (apparently), cannot talk to (meaning anything beyond mundane brainless small talk about the weather and school) any male who has a girlfriend, engaged, or married because the female counterpart to the relationship apparently will always think that i am hitting on whatever guy and therefor hate me. even when i did nothing wrong. and then when i go to tell my best friend about what happened she says "can you get out of my face? im trying to have a serious conversation" which leads back to point #1. which leads to....
the moral of tonight...i am to my limit with people's bullshit. you thought i was an introvert before...you have no idea. the door to my brain, mind, heart, soul...it has all been shut. you can leave a message at the beep but i highly doubt i will ever return the call. i am just done...i dont even know how else to state it. done.
"lets burn while we still have nerves, love while we still have hearts, need while we still can break and sing while we still have breath. this is the resignation"
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Hope you're feeling better.