kirin

Dating sucks! A week after TaoAndCoffee and I broke up someone I had a crush on a few years ago expressed both past and current interest. Apparently he'd been planning to ask me out until he realized I was married. We've hung out a few times and the more I get to know him the more I like him. The issue is we're both pretty fucked up emotionally because we're both coming out of really unhealthy long distance relationships. We're both having a hard time letting go of the relationships that were going nowhere and were more detrimental than beneficial to our well being. After being second to TAC's ex for the first half of our relationship I can't do that again until he either gets over this girl or decides to try again with her.

I don't know if I should trust him that he's trying to move on or not. He says he's working on tying up the loose ends with her. He says he wants to try to build a relationship with me when I'm ready and even if she said she wants him back he wouldn't trust her because she's said it before and used it to hurt him. He said he doesn't want to do anything to hurt me. We started hanging out as friends and I really had no clue he was interested in me so I did a lot of bitching and venting about my ex husband and TAC so I think he already knows my emotional issues.

I do like him a lot though and there's potential with him. So do I say fuck it now and save myself potential hurt or go with it and see what happens? He's already put a lot of effort into letting me know he's serious about me. He's working out of town and is only home every 4 days and is trying to see me when he's home. He's brought me flowers and tea twice to have breakfast with me before I go to work on his way back into town. We're working opposite hours so he texts me when I'm getting ready for work in the morning and he's getting ready for bed, and again at night when he's on his break and I'm getting ready for bed. The few times we've had plans together he's been early, which I'm totally not used to since I've stopped counting on guys to bother showing up to see me. He says such sweet things and seems to mean them. He hasn't let me pay for dinner yet either.

He's a vegetarian, and an atheist, we like the same music and going to shows, he owns his own house(s) and car and I know how much money he has because we met when I was a teller and me knowing that doesn't bother him. He loves cats! He's been nothing but sweet and as far as I can tell honest with me. We have some mutual friends and one of them tells me she thinks he really does care about me and isn't just looking for sex, which is what he tells me. I'm weird about having sex and have told him he's not getting any from me any time soon and he says that's fine and he won't push me.

I really don't think I'm ready for all this. I'm glad he's working out of town right now because I don't want to get too involved.

This song pretty well describes my current mood.