This is officially the worst Valentine's Day ever. I've been lonely and picking fights with TaoAndCoffee all week. I hate needing him more than he needs me. I painted him a Valentine's Day card but he hasn't gotten it yet. I told him not to open it and just throw it away when it gets there. I'm out of practice with painting so it looks stupid.
Yeah pretty ugly. Now I wish I hadn't sent it. We've done nothing but argue the last few days and he's getting really tired of me telling him all the reasons he doesn't care about me. I know I'm being unfair because things had been better the last few weeks but I can't let the stupid shit he did before go. I've been crying at work again because I don't know how this will ever work for us.
He said he did actually send me something for Valentine's Day but he didn't get it in the mail to me until last Friday. I have no idea if it'll ever get here since his last package never came and it's been over 3 months now. Of course he only told me he sent something instead of letting me be surprised when there was a package because I went off on what a shitty BF he is just sending an ecard and did he forget about Valentine's day or just not care. Now I wish I didn't know he sent something because it'll probably never come.
I got home from work and when I pulled into my driveway I could see a box sitting on my front porch. I got really excited thinking his box made it here really fast. When I ran through the house to check the mail there was also a package in my mail box from a name I didn't recognize. It took me a bit to remember that his mom is remarried and that's her last name. She sent me this very interesting scarf she made.
Then I moved on to the box. I saw it was from See's Candies. If you've never had candy from them you need to. It's old fashioned and they've tried to keep things the same as when they opened in the 1920's. It was a tradition in my family that my parents would get my brother and me candy from them for Christmas and as we got older we would get some for them. I even brought some back for Zarphin's dad last time I was in Arizona and I guess he thought it was almost orgasmic. It's still all hand made so it's kind of expensive. I thought for sure this was from either my mom or Tao. It's a very pretty heart shaped box. I don't think anyone has ever given me a heart shaped box of chocolates before.
Nope. It's from my soon to be ex husband. Our divorce should be final in a week from today in fact. Inside was a note that said "I fully expect you'll be mad at me for this, but I wanted to send you a gift for our last Valentine's. Be happy." It kills me that he still loves me. He is a great guy and a great person but we had some issues we couldn't overcome and we couldn't trust each other anymore. We had really grown apart. I wish he would move on and find someone who might actually make him happy. We split up a year ago and he moved out last May. I also know that his financial situation is at least as fucked as mine and he can't afford to be sending anyone giant boxes of hand made chocolates.
And now Tao feels like an asshole because he didn't get whatever he sent in the mail in time to get here by today. He also knows how much I love See's candies and probably feels even worse that they aren't from him.
So now I'm sitting home alone on Valentine's Day with a frozen pizza for dinner and a big box of my favorite chocolates I feel too guilty to eat and I can't even talk to my damn BF because he's at work.
Yeah my life is shit.
Yeah pretty ugly. Now I wish I hadn't sent it. We've done nothing but argue the last few days and he's getting really tired of me telling him all the reasons he doesn't care about me. I know I'm being unfair because things had been better the last few weeks but I can't let the stupid shit he did before go. I've been crying at work again because I don't know how this will ever work for us.
He said he did actually send me something for Valentine's Day but he didn't get it in the mail to me until last Friday. I have no idea if it'll ever get here since his last package never came and it's been over 3 months now. Of course he only told me he sent something instead of letting me be surprised when there was a package because I went off on what a shitty BF he is just sending an ecard and did he forget about Valentine's day or just not care. Now I wish I didn't know he sent something because it'll probably never come.
I got home from work and when I pulled into my driveway I could see a box sitting on my front porch. I got really excited thinking his box made it here really fast. When I ran through the house to check the mail there was also a package in my mail box from a name I didn't recognize. It took me a bit to remember that his mom is remarried and that's her last name. She sent me this very interesting scarf she made.
Then I moved on to the box. I saw it was from See's Candies. If you've never had candy from them you need to. It's old fashioned and they've tried to keep things the same as when they opened in the 1920's. It was a tradition in my family that my parents would get my brother and me candy from them for Christmas and as we got older we would get some for them. I even brought some back for Zarphin's dad last time I was in Arizona and I guess he thought it was almost orgasmic. It's still all hand made so it's kind of expensive. I thought for sure this was from either my mom or Tao. It's a very pretty heart shaped box. I don't think anyone has ever given me a heart shaped box of chocolates before.
Nope. It's from my soon to be ex husband. Our divorce should be final in a week from today in fact. Inside was a note that said "I fully expect you'll be mad at me for this, but I wanted to send you a gift for our last Valentine's. Be happy." It kills me that he still loves me. He is a great guy and a great person but we had some issues we couldn't overcome and we couldn't trust each other anymore. We had really grown apart. I wish he would move on and find someone who might actually make him happy. We split up a year ago and he moved out last May. I also know that his financial situation is at least as fucked as mine and he can't afford to be sending anyone giant boxes of hand made chocolates.
And now Tao feels like an asshole because he didn't get whatever he sent in the mail in time to get here by today. He also knows how much I love See's candies and probably feels even worse that they aren't from him.
So now I'm sitting home alone on Valentine's Day with a frozen pizza for dinner and a big box of my favorite chocolates I feel too guilty to eat and I can't even talk to my damn BF because he's at work.
Yeah my life is shit.
VIEW 11 of 11 COMMENTS
cassiel:
I hope yr heart finds peace. ♥
blackheartdown:
Hmm, sounds like you do have some bad postal mojo. Both MI and ON are big areas, and could put a big expanse between the two of you. Hopefully you get to make the most of it when you are together.