This is how I've been feeling lately. Everything I've seen lately makes me sad. Friends losing friends and family to cancer, my own family having health problems. I've never fit in anywhere, least of all Michigan. I do still plan to move back to Phoenix sometime next spring. Whether alone or not has yet to be determined. I miss my family and I worry about them. I don't exactly feel like I belong there either but at least I have people I can rely on there. I'd like to take the time between now and infinity to try to figure out who I am outside of a relationship and on my own. I don't want to be anything I've ever been. Hehe.
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6 hrs, a border crossing and a couple of thousand miles between you two (with the exception of one weekend a month) your day to day decisions are 100% yours to make. You can stop in the middle of painting a room and go clean the kitchen or read a book. You can go from work to the cinema without checking with the significant other. You can vacuum at 11 pm or 6 am without "disturbing" anyone. You can have waffles for dinner or cold pasta for breakfast. lol can you tell I live alone lol
One weekend a month you have your bf with you and you share your life with him and he shares his life with you. I know it doesn't sound like much, but I believe the time you have to yourself right now is good for you. You will discover your strengths and weakness. You will find yourself.
The Kirin I see knows her place and has the strength not to take one step down or move aside. The Kirin I see has the courage to forgive when most would not. The Kirin I see is going through a personal hardship alone with her head held high and eyes looking to the future. The Kirin I see today is a remarkable lady. I can't wait to meet the Kirin that found herself and knows what a strong and courageous lady she is.
btw - +1 I agree my floors are awesome