Hm, ok, so yeah, it's a new year. I think this year will turn out to be a bit like the last half of 2006-first half of 2007. That was a big period of change for me and I left everything I knew to move to state I'd never been. I've had some good opportunities here, including the best job I've ever had even though I'm bored of it now. I also got the chance to try out for SG and even went pink! But alas I'm not happy here. I want to move back to Arizona to be close to my family and finish school. My mom was was diagnosed with stage 2 breast cancer right after my birthday in 2009 and finished chemo and radiation right after my last birthday and now she's on the mend. When I was about 22 my dad had stage 1 prostate cancer. I'm realizing that my parents are getting older and they're mortal and I miss them even though we don't always get along.
I also miss being warm enough. I can't stay warm during Michigan winters. I also can't drive my car when or where I want to because it doesn't handle well in the snow. I'm a west coast girl, I can't help it.
If I don't get myself back in school soon I don't think I'll ever finish. And if I never finish it's going to haunt me for the rest of my life. I have decided on a history degree even though it's essentially useless. Once I'm done with school I would love to work here. If you've never been and can go I highly recommend it.
I'm also going through some really difficult relationship changes. I'm about 90% sure I'm making the right choice but that 10% is really bothersome. I guess time will tell. I talked to my parents and they said I'm welcome to stay with them if I need to, I spent an hour on the phone with my dad and for a change he told me what I wanted to hear. He can be too honest sometimes so sometimes he hurts my feelings. I know he wasn't telling me what I wanted to hear just because it was what I wanted to hear. He even thinks he found some houses I could afford on my own. Yeah, no he doesn't miss me and want me to move back at all.
I have made some amazing friends since being in Michigan and I'm really going to miss them when/if I move. Everything about this is really hard and couldn't have come at a worse time of year.
I have also made some awesome friends on this site, some of who know the specifics of my relationship problems and have given me advice even if it's not what I want to hear. And I thank them for that. I needed the reality check.
So in conclusion here's to a new year that is scaring the shit out of me but if I'm lucky will end well and I'll be a happier and stronger person.
I also miss being warm enough. I can't stay warm during Michigan winters. I also can't drive my car when or where I want to because it doesn't handle well in the snow. I'm a west coast girl, I can't help it.
If I don't get myself back in school soon I don't think I'll ever finish. And if I never finish it's going to haunt me for the rest of my life. I have decided on a history degree even though it's essentially useless. Once I'm done with school I would love to work here. If you've never been and can go I highly recommend it.
I'm also going through some really difficult relationship changes. I'm about 90% sure I'm making the right choice but that 10% is really bothersome. I guess time will tell. I talked to my parents and they said I'm welcome to stay with them if I need to, I spent an hour on the phone with my dad and for a change he told me what I wanted to hear. He can be too honest sometimes so sometimes he hurts my feelings. I know he wasn't telling me what I wanted to hear just because it was what I wanted to hear. He even thinks he found some houses I could afford on my own. Yeah, no he doesn't miss me and want me to move back at all.
I have made some amazing friends since being in Michigan and I'm really going to miss them when/if I move. Everything about this is really hard and couldn't have come at a worse time of year.
I have also made some awesome friends on this site, some of who know the specifics of my relationship problems and have given me advice even if it's not what I want to hear. And I thank them for that. I needed the reality check.
So in conclusion here's to a new year that is scaring the shit out of me but if I'm lucky will end well and I'll be a happier and stronger person.
VIEW 11 of 11 COMMENTS
If home is where your heart is, go.
I dont know anything about your love life, but I wish you peace of mind if nothing else.
<3
I completely relate. As for the "big c" my paternal grandmother was also diagnosed with breast cancer in late 2009 and today it's moved to all major organs of her body except brain. She now lives with my Aunt who also helps take care of her. She's in good spirits but she's in that "get your affairs in order" place right now. I live with and help care for my maternal grandmother who for 84 is physically as healthy as an ox except that she's quickly moving into servere dementia so I'm essentially witnessing her lose a piece of who she is day by day. All of the above also take place in lovely SE MI which as you know make transporting a fragile elderly grandmother around as stressful as brain surgery. On top of this, I'm unemployed and of course there's not much of any opportunities left here. So I am preparing myself for moving out of MI for some career opportunity and leaving behind almost every family member I still have alive. I too haven't finished school, because of cost but I would like to just get it over with. Perhaps you could do your History major online so that you can begin now and it wouldn't matter where you lived to participate. It can never substitute for the real thing but if you aren't already, maybe you could get your folks set-up with Skype accounts and if you all have video capabilities, you can at least see and hear one another. I do have some family in Northern California and for X-Mas, we had sent gifts to one another and opened them up live via Skype. It's pretty cool. Again, not the real thing but it's a thousand times better than an email or even just a phone call. I'll always be a boy from the Midwest and my family will most likely keep to this area but I know that where you live doesn't make you who you are or eventually long to be. Same goes for you here in MI. In the meantime, work on getting back to where you honestly want to be, both literally and where you'll find true comfort. Good luck on the job hunt, it's slim pickings out there. Until then, I hope that you will leave MI and the Midwest with warm opinion and at the very least you can be one of the few in the SW that can honestly say they've experienced snow and all four seasons for that matter. I've been lucky enough to travel all over this country and abroad and nothing beats the Midwest in the Fall. Twelve hues of stunning foliage, campfires, spiced cider, apple orchards and college football. IMHO of course. Cheers Kirin!!