If you could meet anyone from the past or present, who would it be and what would you ask them?
I apologize in advance because this post is not going to be very cheerful...
I lost my dad when i was 4. He commited suicide.
22 years later, I still don't really know why he did that. And I think I would never understand. I can't.
Why a young father - my little sister was only 9 months old - would do that... ?
So if I could see him today, even if it's just for an hour, I will ask him : why ?
Why did you give up ? Were you so unhappy ? What made you do that... ?
Was it us ? Was it me ? Did you really love us ? Love me ?
Of course i'm sure you did. I hope so. But in this case, why give us up ?
So many questions without answers, and so much to forgive !
I work on me so hard on this traumatism and I just barely understand some things and move forward with my past...
I don't like to complain about this. My mom is still here and she really love me and take good care of me.
This event made me strong in a way, even if because of this most of my relationships are fucked up haha !
Anyway, sorry about this not really funny blog post guys, but in fact, it's quite liberating and a little helpfull in a way.
xoxo
Kinny
