As if I couldn't feel anymore bummed out, I found out one of my best friends has been a crack addict for the last 4 years and I didn't have a fucking clue! At least he appears to be on the road to recovery. It just kinda came out of left field and shook me to the core. So I had to digest that and the fact he also will be moving away to Greensboro, NC next week. Why am I the last one to know these things?
Anyway, I am very happy for him but what is also weirding me out is he's finding comfort in prayer. Hey, to each their own I always say, but he'd be the last person I know who would turn to that. The stories he was telling me were amazing and almost scary once he sought out the higher power. And he wasn't coming across as self-rightous or a holy roller at all. This will now make 2 people I know who were hopeless addicts who found solace thru prayer. It kinda makes me think. It's such a heavy topic and one I try not to delve into too much. But I feel I'm at the end of my rope and what could hurt at this point right?
Not to worry, I'll never force my views on anyone else. That's what turned me off from organized religion in the first place. It's up to each individual to decide what's best for them.
So we had this pretty deep conversation that at parts were uncomfortable. I realize I'm an addict just like him. All the signs are plain to see. When I'm happy, sad, elated, depressed, bored, tired, where do I turn? I don't look for a shady dealer, my drug can be found at any store and it's legal at that. Worst part is you need it to survive. It's a really motherfucker because most people don't take it serious at all. And it's images are everywhere you turn. Your so called friends will laugh at you and mock you over it. It's the last great un-PC thing in the world, a fat joke will always get a easy laugh. The most encouragement you get, if it can be called that is "put the fork down". So in your sadness, where do you turn back? Go eat another mouthful fatty.
Is it time to take a stand or just fall back into usual patterns. Guess we'll see........
Anyway, I am very happy for him but what is also weirding me out is he's finding comfort in prayer. Hey, to each their own I always say, but he'd be the last person I know who would turn to that. The stories he was telling me were amazing and almost scary once he sought out the higher power. And he wasn't coming across as self-rightous or a holy roller at all. This will now make 2 people I know who were hopeless addicts who found solace thru prayer. It kinda makes me think. It's such a heavy topic and one I try not to delve into too much. But I feel I'm at the end of my rope and what could hurt at this point right?
Not to worry, I'll never force my views on anyone else. That's what turned me off from organized religion in the first place. It's up to each individual to decide what's best for them.
So we had this pretty deep conversation that at parts were uncomfortable. I realize I'm an addict just like him. All the signs are plain to see. When I'm happy, sad, elated, depressed, bored, tired, where do I turn? I don't look for a shady dealer, my drug can be found at any store and it's legal at that. Worst part is you need it to survive. It's a really motherfucker because most people don't take it serious at all. And it's images are everywhere you turn. Your so called friends will laugh at you and mock you over it. It's the last great un-PC thing in the world, a fat joke will always get a easy laugh. The most encouragement you get, if it can be called that is "put the fork down". So in your sadness, where do you turn back? Go eat another mouthful fatty.
Is it time to take a stand or just fall back into usual patterns. Guess we'll see........
big hugs to you hey, youre sounding a little bummed xx