kingly

I'm going thru some real emotional highs and lows lately. Things are happening so fast I feel my head spinning, both highs and lows. Let me try to put it all in perspective.

First off, my sister Jackie found out her 2nd MRI results. Nothing bad was showing up at all, it looked completely normal. I guess they did a more detailed look and what they thought they might have seen the 1st time wasn't there at all (the acoustic neuroma). So no brain tumor, no MS, no stroke, thank God! Although she does still gets very brief periods of vertigo every now and then. Maybe it's the last of the Trilepital working itself out, or maybe just nerves. At least we now know it isn't anything as dire we once thought.

The other exciting news is I have a new friend in my life. I met Sofia originally thru the band and my space. We kept trying to set up an online chat but nothing ever worked out. I always joked around saying I need to see some form of ID 'coz you have to be careful on my space. Well after our performance in Somers Point last week, I saw her there. Unfortunately, she had missed our set, but at least we got to talk and yes, LOL, I did check her ID. 2 forms of them ( I'm happy to report she's 18 and legal). I tried to contact her thru my space again, but her page had some kind of plug added that kept kicking me off. Finally by Monday I passed along my phone number, Tuesday night she called.

We wound up talking for hours. I was very impressed by her taste in music and movies. It was just an amazing conversation. She is wise beyond her years, an old soul for sure. And yes there is a connection as well. I don't know where this ride is going to take me, but at least it will be an interesting Summer before she heads of to college. Of course this will all need to be low key. I don't even know how many chances we'll get to even meet up. Summer might be better when she gets a car. I've always felt age is just a number, nice to meet someone who feels the same way.

Being as honest as I am, I told her about Cindy and vice versa. Cindy gave her approval but I could hear the hurt in her voice. Yesterday she totally lost control over it and hung up on me. When I finally did get to talk to her she told me she was assuming all these scenarios and it wasn't even the case! It breaks my heart too, but what am I supposed to do? Sit here and keep waiting and waiting on something that has a real chance of never coming to be? Her and I have discussed this so many times before. She does want me to live my life. And I refuse to miss any opportunities. I do love Cindy with all my heart and soul, but I need to do this.

My life, can it get any crazier? I'm in love with a married woman who lives 1,500 miles away. I'm developing feelings for an 18 year old. Do I hear a "Jerry, Jerry, Jerry" chant in the background? I do love Cindy, but we decided long ago we wouldn't even try to persue something until the last of her kids has grown. We still have at least 6 years until that happens. She always told me to live my life but now that she's facing it, it's freaking her out. I'm at wits end over it. I need her to know that things will still be the same.

And what about Sofia? Maybe I need to state exactly what I expect out of this. A good friendship with a physical connection. A possible Summertime fling before she heads off to college and pursues her own life. It's still at an early stage and who knows how it will develop. Again I'm thinking way too much...

And on top of all this, my friend George calls me up and tells me they found our buddy Redd Scare dead in his apartment of an apparent heart attack. Redd was the former singer of a legendary South Jersey punk band called Motherflower. A real character and a great guy. I think the service will be Saturday, don't know if I can get out of work. George did mention they want to organize a memorial jam. I told him we'd be in if they'd have us. RIP Redd.

So this roller coaster life is turning into a runaway train fast. Hope I can keep it all from derailing....