Not that anyone's paying attention, but I went ahead and deleted all the stupid fucking My Space surveys I've been posting non-stop here lately. I share enough as is with these ramblings. No need to bore you anymore than necessary.
To say these last 2 days have been shitty would be an understatement. Early yesterday morning I awoke to an email from Penny with the latest photoshop "portrait" they made of me. I admit it was funny. So then I log onto my space and see George N. (I'll just refer to him as Geo from now on to avoid confusion with my other friend of the same name) has not only posted several comments with this "artwork" but went ahead and even changed his avatar to it. OK, a joke's a joke, but it seemed a little excessive. So I go to the band's my space page, view our profile, and notice someone screwed around with it. You could see all the images, but anything written wasn't showing up.
I went in to edit it and saw some kind of code. My first thought was Penny and Geo went ahead and fucked with it as another way to push my buttons. To say I was pissed was an understatement. So I fixed it all back to normal but also went ahead and changed the email and password. I bust my balls trying to promote the band thru there. I always viewed My Space as my baby. Penny is in charge of the official webpage. Off course he rarely, if ever updates it. I do all of that thru the my space page. Sometimes I feel it's nothing but a joke to him. But it does serve a purpose and we have met some very cool people and bands thru there.
I was still steaming though and had to fight the urge to call that fucker up at 4:30 in the morning to ream him a new asshole. I wound up bending Andy's ear about it later that morning. Well now time is going by and I get a phone call from Penny wanting the new password. I was on the line with Cindy and said I'd call him back. It took a bit, but I did. In the meantime I decided against giving him the new password. I forgot to add at this point we already talked about it and he was claiming innocence. Quite honestly I didn't know what to believe at this point. I mean if someone actually hacked the page, why didnt they just take the whole thing down? I was still suspicious regardless. So I call him back and tell him bluntly no and gives me a fuck you and hangs up on me. Well, I knew what would be coming but I had covered all my bases. Not only did I change the My Space password & email, but my Yahoo password as well. I knew his 1st step would be to ask for them to send the password thru email, wasnt going to happen. So 10 minutes later he calls me back more pissed than ever because now he cant even get into the official site coz of the Yahoo password change. Hes still claiming innocence and Im going on how can you blame me for thinking it was those dopes considering the timing with the artwork? Either way I wound up giving him the new password and changed back the Yahoo one. I now just wanted to forget about this whole stupid incident.
I went back and deleted all the comments the Geo and I had posted back and forth on My Space. So now hes sending me messages asking why and friggin spamming my page with multiple images. I deleted it all but had to get offline coz by this point sissy wanted to get on. Oh, but before that, I have to talk about the other stress of the day. I had went to check the online bank account and see Im overdrawn by $62. I go into the page and see a new charge from Clear Channel. Basically I got charged twice for the NYE Black Crowes tickets. They were supposed to credit me back the original charge then take out the refigured cost without the service fee included. Well they neglected to do that! So now Im freaking out and well, lets just say I had stomach troubles earlier and I suffered a side effect in the middle of this. So now Im going down the stairs to clean myself up and deal with the other mess afterwards. Thats when sissy wanted to get online. So now I call up Penny and tell Geo just to leave me the fuck alone. The day has been totally shitty.literally! At least Cindy had gotten to call me again at this point and calmed me down. The rest of the day went by without a hitch.
So I wake up yesterday and go to the Crowes message board and see Im not the only one to get screwed by Clear Channel. I cant believe they did this. One person was even remarking how people are low in funds to begin with because of the Christmas season. Im lucky my new tickets went thru. I read about one guy who got declined for his new seats by his credit card. So I was left wondering not only did they cancel his old tickets, but now he doesnt have the new ones as well? This is going to turn into a major headache for Clear Channel. Im now on My Space doing my thing and I get a new friend invite. I click in and now fucking Geo had made an entire fake profile of me to go along with all the pics. Enough is enough! I call Penny and tell Geo to take it down. I dont mind him posting the stupid pictures on his own page but this went too far. Thankfully he did that at least. I mean this guys have nothing better to do than sit around and come up with this stupidity?
Sissy was up by this point so downstairs I went. After a game of Madden, it was time to call my bank and explain the whole situation. I was more worried getting socked with these overdraft charges. So I called up explained the situation and was put thru to another department to file a complaint. Well let me tell you I wind up chatting with the girl on the other end. I mean we had a good ole time just chatting away about the concert, the weather, and somehow wound up with her talking about the movie Madagascar! I know how they always play that your call may be recorded message, well I remarked how she should be the employee of the month! Oh, she did take care of filing the complaint by the way too. Best official phone call Ive ever had.
Andy had stopped by with my work check. I was now counting on this for my Xmas shopping as the bank was still showing the overdrawn amount even after I had deposited my whole unemployment check the day before. This was going to be the week of the Xmas bonus. I open it up and see a check for $50! Well actually $44 after taxes. Andy wound up getting a $100 bonus! I guess I got fucked because of being on the partial unemployment. It wasnt my choice, they all wanted Lala so bad. Gee, I wonder how much he made? And doesnt the full year of work I put in count for anything? Fuck it, I just wanted to get sissy her gifts. She wound up taking my brother Mikey to the store. So I got to stay online some more and chat with Cindy. I got offline, got my shower, and called Andy to come along for the ride. Well he was over Pennys so I went and picked him up. I wound up taking all the idiots to Kmart with me. Andy, Penny, Geo, & Matt. I have to admit it was a fun time in there. We were making several people laugh with our general foolishness.
So I drop them all off and wind up looking at the DVD of the Punk Rock Prom show over at Andys afterwards. The DVD looked pretty nice, but our performance was pretty bad. This was the show the mics kept cutting out on. Not a good choice for a bootleg. I just putzed around my house afterwards getting ready for the get together at Kite and Murdochs later. This is where things really took a turn for the ugly. It all started out pleasant. I even got a couple Xmas gifts from Kite and the kids. Andy wasnt even there yet, Im sure if he was the crap that happened couldve been avoided. Penny and Kite had left to make a booze run. I was drinking my PBR and Geo just kept it up with the needling of me. Cmon, when do you finally back off on someone? Now I had alcohol kicking in which made my temper even shorter. You figure K or Jackie would see this bothering me and tell Geo to lay off, but they were telling me to lighten up. Now I really felt ganged up on by people I thought were my friends. I swear it was like I was back in high school again. I had to get out of there. It wouldve been way uglier if I stayed.
So on the whole ride home I just kept thinking about things. How I feel Im nothing more than a fucking joke in peoples eyes. Yeah, I expect it of the general public, but also the people I thought we a support system, my supposed friends? Pretty hard when you finally figure out youre nothing more than a punch line. It was a total eye opening experience. These people arent my friends. Theyre nothing more than associates thru me being in the band. Sounds harsh, but think about it, would they even hang out with me if that werent the case? The only one who has always been my true friend is Andy. That guy is like a little brother to me. He ended up calling me later on and we got to talking about things. Andy always busts my balls, but at least I know where he stands. Its a good natured ribbing. These other people I cant tell when the kidding ends and the harshness begins. I mean look at all the incidents with Penny over the last 2 years. I still cant read the kid. And then combining him with Geo this last week has been like poison. OK, its fun and games, a grand joke, but cant you see I had enough? Thats what really pisses me off the most, all these so called misfits the ones who know what its liked to get picked on acting nothing more like the jocks and popular kids who pushed their buttons back in school. Thats the true disappointment. Im the ultimate outsider. I mean look at me, Im soon to turn 40, I look more like a hippy than a punk rocker. Why am I even hanging out with this younger crowd anyway? And all this time when I thought they were laughing with me, they were laughing at me.
Im at my breaking point. Im back to wanting to give up the band again. Such a shame after such a great show we had at the Hurricane. But why bother? Why continue when the joke is even bigger now? I can only imagine the gossip and tales going to be told now. I guess Ill see where I really stand over the next few days. I guess in everyones eyes I overreacted. But what they fail to realize that it wasnt just them, it was also the stares I feel everyday, it was the absolute hell that my school years were. Almost 40 years Ive felt beat up and put down. All I know is pain. All I know is rejection. They way were bred anymore is to not show sympathy, but circle like a vulture and go in for the kill
To say these last 2 days have been shitty would be an understatement. Early yesterday morning I awoke to an email from Penny with the latest photoshop "portrait" they made of me. I admit it was funny. So then I log onto my space and see George N. (I'll just refer to him as Geo from now on to avoid confusion with my other friend of the same name) has not only posted several comments with this "artwork" but went ahead and even changed his avatar to it. OK, a joke's a joke, but it seemed a little excessive. So I go to the band's my space page, view our profile, and notice someone screwed around with it. You could see all the images, but anything written wasn't showing up.
I went in to edit it and saw some kind of code. My first thought was Penny and Geo went ahead and fucked with it as another way to push my buttons. To say I was pissed was an understatement. So I fixed it all back to normal but also went ahead and changed the email and password. I bust my balls trying to promote the band thru there. I always viewed My Space as my baby. Penny is in charge of the official webpage. Off course he rarely, if ever updates it. I do all of that thru the my space page. Sometimes I feel it's nothing but a joke to him. But it does serve a purpose and we have met some very cool people and bands thru there.
I was still steaming though and had to fight the urge to call that fucker up at 4:30 in the morning to ream him a new asshole. I wound up bending Andy's ear about it later that morning. Well now time is going by and I get a phone call from Penny wanting the new password. I was on the line with Cindy and said I'd call him back. It took a bit, but I did. In the meantime I decided against giving him the new password. I forgot to add at this point we already talked about it and he was claiming innocence. Quite honestly I didn't know what to believe at this point. I mean if someone actually hacked the page, why didnt they just take the whole thing down? I was still suspicious regardless. So I call him back and tell him bluntly no and gives me a fuck you and hangs up on me. Well, I knew what would be coming but I had covered all my bases. Not only did I change the My Space password & email, but my Yahoo password as well. I knew his 1st step would be to ask for them to send the password thru email, wasnt going to happen. So 10 minutes later he calls me back more pissed than ever because now he cant even get into the official site coz of the Yahoo password change. Hes still claiming innocence and Im going on how can you blame me for thinking it was those dopes considering the timing with the artwork? Either way I wound up giving him the new password and changed back the Yahoo one. I now just wanted to forget about this whole stupid incident.
I went back and deleted all the comments the Geo and I had posted back and forth on My Space. So now hes sending me messages asking why and friggin spamming my page with multiple images. I deleted it all but had to get offline coz by this point sissy wanted to get on. Oh, but before that, I have to talk about the other stress of the day. I had went to check the online bank account and see Im overdrawn by $62. I go into the page and see a new charge from Clear Channel. Basically I got charged twice for the NYE Black Crowes tickets. They were supposed to credit me back the original charge then take out the refigured cost without the service fee included. Well they neglected to do that! So now Im freaking out and well, lets just say I had stomach troubles earlier and I suffered a side effect in the middle of this. So now Im going down the stairs to clean myself up and deal with the other mess afterwards. Thats when sissy wanted to get online. So now I call up Penny and tell Geo just to leave me the fuck alone. The day has been totally shitty.literally! At least Cindy had gotten to call me again at this point and calmed me down. The rest of the day went by without a hitch.
So I wake up yesterday and go to the Crowes message board and see Im not the only one to get screwed by Clear Channel. I cant believe they did this. One person was even remarking how people are low in funds to begin with because of the Christmas season. Im lucky my new tickets went thru. I read about one guy who got declined for his new seats by his credit card. So I was left wondering not only did they cancel his old tickets, but now he doesnt have the new ones as well? This is going to turn into a major headache for Clear Channel. Im now on My Space doing my thing and I get a new friend invite. I click in and now fucking Geo had made an entire fake profile of me to go along with all the pics. Enough is enough! I call Penny and tell Geo to take it down. I dont mind him posting the stupid pictures on his own page but this went too far. Thankfully he did that at least. I mean this guys have nothing better to do than sit around and come up with this stupidity?
Sissy was up by this point so downstairs I went. After a game of Madden, it was time to call my bank and explain the whole situation. I was more worried getting socked with these overdraft charges. So I called up explained the situation and was put thru to another department to file a complaint. Well let me tell you I wind up chatting with the girl on the other end. I mean we had a good ole time just chatting away about the concert, the weather, and somehow wound up with her talking about the movie Madagascar! I know how they always play that your call may be recorded message, well I remarked how she should be the employee of the month! Oh, she did take care of filing the complaint by the way too. Best official phone call Ive ever had.
Andy had stopped by with my work check. I was now counting on this for my Xmas shopping as the bank was still showing the overdrawn amount even after I had deposited my whole unemployment check the day before. This was going to be the week of the Xmas bonus. I open it up and see a check for $50! Well actually $44 after taxes. Andy wound up getting a $100 bonus! I guess I got fucked because of being on the partial unemployment. It wasnt my choice, they all wanted Lala so bad. Gee, I wonder how much he made? And doesnt the full year of work I put in count for anything? Fuck it, I just wanted to get sissy her gifts. She wound up taking my brother Mikey to the store. So I got to stay online some more and chat with Cindy. I got offline, got my shower, and called Andy to come along for the ride. Well he was over Pennys so I went and picked him up. I wound up taking all the idiots to Kmart with me. Andy, Penny, Geo, & Matt. I have to admit it was a fun time in there. We were making several people laugh with our general foolishness.
So I drop them all off and wind up looking at the DVD of the Punk Rock Prom show over at Andys afterwards. The DVD looked pretty nice, but our performance was pretty bad. This was the show the mics kept cutting out on. Not a good choice for a bootleg. I just putzed around my house afterwards getting ready for the get together at Kite and Murdochs later. This is where things really took a turn for the ugly. It all started out pleasant. I even got a couple Xmas gifts from Kite and the kids. Andy wasnt even there yet, Im sure if he was the crap that happened couldve been avoided. Penny and Kite had left to make a booze run. I was drinking my PBR and Geo just kept it up with the needling of me. Cmon, when do you finally back off on someone? Now I had alcohol kicking in which made my temper even shorter. You figure K or Jackie would see this bothering me and tell Geo to lay off, but they were telling me to lighten up. Now I really felt ganged up on by people I thought were my friends. I swear it was like I was back in high school again. I had to get out of there. It wouldve been way uglier if I stayed.
So on the whole ride home I just kept thinking about things. How I feel Im nothing more than a fucking joke in peoples eyes. Yeah, I expect it of the general public, but also the people I thought we a support system, my supposed friends? Pretty hard when you finally figure out youre nothing more than a punch line. It was a total eye opening experience. These people arent my friends. Theyre nothing more than associates thru me being in the band. Sounds harsh, but think about it, would they even hang out with me if that werent the case? The only one who has always been my true friend is Andy. That guy is like a little brother to me. He ended up calling me later on and we got to talking about things. Andy always busts my balls, but at least I know where he stands. Its a good natured ribbing. These other people I cant tell when the kidding ends and the harshness begins. I mean look at all the incidents with Penny over the last 2 years. I still cant read the kid. And then combining him with Geo this last week has been like poison. OK, its fun and games, a grand joke, but cant you see I had enough? Thats what really pisses me off the most, all these so called misfits the ones who know what its liked to get picked on acting nothing more like the jocks and popular kids who pushed their buttons back in school. Thats the true disappointment. Im the ultimate outsider. I mean look at me, Im soon to turn 40, I look more like a hippy than a punk rocker. Why am I even hanging out with this younger crowd anyway? And all this time when I thought they were laughing with me, they were laughing at me.
Im at my breaking point. Im back to wanting to give up the band again. Such a shame after such a great show we had at the Hurricane. But why bother? Why continue when the joke is even bigger now? I can only imagine the gossip and tales going to be told now. I guess Ill see where I really stand over the next few days. I guess in everyones eyes I overreacted. But what they fail to realize that it wasnt just them, it was also the stares I feel everyday, it was the absolute hell that my school years were. Almost 40 years Ive felt beat up and put down. All I know is pain. All I know is rejection. They way were bred anymore is to not show sympathy, but circle like a vulture and go in for the kill