Friday Jul 21, 2006

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i started to read this book online about beating depression...

i bought the book out of guilt for not going to my first appointment to see a shrink...

so the last few hours i've been reading this book...

he actually said in the book for me to take a break so here i am...

i think the main guilt is not that i'm depressed and i can't get out of it (i've realized this and accepted this long time ago), but more that i'm disappointing a lot of people in my life... including my mom, dad, sister, boss, coworkers and friends...

i hate to think that i'm such a fuck up...

i really want their approval...

maybe this is my first mistake... i need to stop worrying about what they think of me and start caring for myself...

so... i found this online program... i did about a hour research and found a guy that likes to deal with depression without the use of antidepressants... i think he is going to recommend exercise (which i need)...

i like it because it's a program... i like it because i don't need to spend hours and hours spending money for a threapist who i don't think i can be 100% honest with... i like it because i hate the way antidepressants have made me feel numb to the world in the pass...

i just want to get better...

love
kiwi
VIEW 3 of 3 COMMENTS
oubliette:
There's such a stigma against therapy in this country, which is a crying shame. If you're serious about getting better, therapists (not just drugs) can really, *really* help you. And you can be 100 percent honest with them- trust me, nothing you can tell a shrink is going to shock them. They've seen it all.
Good luck to you- I hope you feel better one day.
solaris:
thanks for the nice comment... it's art by jason sho green. a combination of two of his pieces.

i hope everything goes okay for you... i have serious stress issues, i would like to start seeing a counsellor!

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