Gather round kiddies for the feel good story of the week. This is no ordinary story, it involves your Hero (that would be me 
), a vengeful ex hell bent on destroying the hero (again, said hero would be me), a typical overpaid, overeducated, no common sense, scum sucking, bottom feeding, ambulance chasing, fuck wad of an attorney, and a HUGE slice of humble pie.....one might say 1.5 slice 'o' pie.
It all started at the Meriden court house after waiting an hour just to get inside. The pompous attorney slithered over to the hero and asked who would be representing him today. The mild mannered, meek hero simply stated that he would be representing himself and sighed. The butt-faced attorney then rode his slime trail back to his client, the evil ex and stated very loudly, "its no problem, its in the bag, he has no representation" whereas they shared a brief moment of joy and a good belly laugh. Trust me, it was brief.
After waiting for hours and putting on the "deer caught in the headlights role" the hero's case was called, so he, the ex, and the idiot with a law degree entered the domain of family services. Thats when the lawyer and the ex realized they had 'screwed the pooch' so to speak.
The attorney opened the proceedings with a little tale of how the hero is a horrible parent that is going to kidnap his daughter and how he is going to kill the ex and her new and improved fianc', and how the hero shows poor judgment in how he handles conflict. Stating that the hero was arrested for this and held for that, and how the ink wasnt dry on the restraining order before the hero had broken it.
The Hero's turn
The hero countered with "Geez, i wonder who this person is that you are talking about, I know it cant be me because i have a shining criminal record, with as of yet no convictions of any kind, and its funny that for 34 years, no one has seen fit to lock me up for societies sake. The only complaints that have been made are from a sour grapes ex and her lacking in manhood fianc'. Period."
"I would like to state for the record that it has been a month since the arrest, and since then, i have gotten my daughter on every scheduled visit without incident, and dropped her back off to her mother, again without incident. Isnt that right Beth??"
The attorney jumps in with "speak to me and not her, so the repeat the question word for word, even calling him Beth. Redness shows in the lawyer's face as he states, "I dont have to answer that"....he is swiftly corrected on this stance by the mediator who stated that he did. The mediator asked the ex the question (thats three times its been asked now) and was met with a full 60 seconds of silence, whereas she was reminded that she is under oath. She stated "No, but....." and thats all she got out before a thank you, no one wants to hear your but. Heh heh
So the 'lawyer from an Ernest movie' goes on with we are asking that sole custody be granted to my client, that visitation be from 5 pm to 9 pm on Tuesday and Thursday and that it be supervised".
The Hero giggles and says "Unacceptable, lets take it before the judge as it is right now, i will not agree to this stupidity". The mediator announces that he see's no reason to alter the visitation as it has been a month and there hasnt been any issues, and that if she cant come up with a better reason than an accusation that hasnt even been proven as of yet, then she is wasting everyones time.
So, the lawyer starts pitching what he thinks are fast balls, and he is catching them right in the kisser each time the hero line drives them right back at him. Nothing the evil bebopsy twins wished for was fulfilled.....Nada.
In the end, the lawyer was humiliated, the ex was pissed and the Hero was elated with the final judgment which is as follows.
1) Custody and visitation DOES NOT CHANGE.
2) The Hero and the Ex must share the cost of a Guardian sumpting sumpting for the child. (This is an attorney that oversees things and impartially represents the child thru out the proceedings). This works in the Hero's favor as anyone that knows him and his child will agree, nothing to hide, nothing to fear.
3) The Hero undergoes Psychological testing and an evaluation. This was funny because the Hero had already arranged for this anyway, so that he could present the results to the court.
The next court date is April 8th, and i think its in the bag, the worst that can happen is anger management stuff, but i have a simple plan that will pretty much get everything dismissed. So all in all, it has been a wonderful day, and i thank you for letting me share this. I love all of you guys, you gave me the wisdom, the patience, the advice, and the determination to not be a victim, and i cant thank you enough. I will leave you with this.
1) A can of coke at the courthouse - 1 dollar.
2) Putting on an act like you are going to get steamrolled by the evil legal machine - Free
3) Doing your homework and watching the ex's asswipe attorney handle other cases and "knowing the enemy" - Free
4) Waking up to a beautiful woman, spending the morning with her and then the experience of getting to see the expression on your ex's face when she realized that she just paid $1200 for her attorney and he is just as dickless and incompetent as her fianc' partnered with the fact that he just got his proverbial ass handed to him by the King_of_Skulls in a courtroom - fucking priceless
P.S.- No offense intended towards anyone with a law degree or any lawyers. This one in particular was just a tool, and the kind of lawyer that has given lawyers a bad rap.
KoS
), a vengeful ex hell bent on destroying the hero (again, said hero would be me), a typical overpaid, overeducated, no common sense, scum sucking, bottom feeding, ambulance chasing, fuck wad of an attorney, and a HUGE slice of humble pie.....one might say 1.5 slice 'o' pie.
It all started at the Meriden court house after waiting an hour just to get inside. The pompous attorney slithered over to the hero and asked who would be representing him today. The mild mannered, meek hero simply stated that he would be representing himself and sighed. The butt-faced attorney then rode his slime trail back to his client, the evil ex and stated very loudly, "its no problem, its in the bag, he has no representation" whereas they shared a brief moment of joy and a good belly laugh. Trust me, it was brief
.
After waiting for hours and putting on the "deer caught in the headlights role" the hero's case was called, so he, the ex, and the idiot with a law degree entered the domain of family services. Thats when the lawyer and the ex realized they had 'screwed the pooch' so to speak.
The attorney opened the proceedings with a little tale of how the hero is a horrible parent that is going to kidnap his daughter and how he is going to kill the ex and her new and improved fianc', and how the hero shows poor judgment in how he handles conflict. Stating that the hero was arrested for this and held for that, and how the ink wasnt dry on the restraining order before the hero had broken it.
The Hero's turn
The hero countered with "Geez, i wonder who this person is that you are talking about, I know it cant be me because i have a shining criminal record, with as of yet no convictions of any kind, and its funny that for 34 years, no one has seen fit to lock me up for societies sake. The only complaints that have been made are from a sour grapes ex and her lacking in manhood fianc'. Period."
"I would like to state for the record that it has been a month since the arrest, and since then, i have gotten my daughter on every scheduled visit without incident, and dropped her back off to her mother, again without incident. Isnt that right Beth??"
The attorney jumps in with "speak to me and not her, so the repeat the question word for word, even calling him Beth. Redness shows in the lawyer's face as he states, "I dont have to answer that"....he is swiftly corrected on this stance by the mediator who stated that he did. The mediator asked the ex the question (thats three times its been asked now) and was met with a full 60 seconds of silence, whereas she was reminded that she is under oath. She stated "No, but....." and thats all she got out before a thank you, no one wants to hear your but. Heh heh
So the 'lawyer from an Ernest movie' goes on with we are asking that sole custody be granted to my client, that visitation be from 5 pm to 9 pm on Tuesday and Thursday and that it be supervised".
The Hero giggles and says "Unacceptable, lets take it before the judge as it is right now, i will not agree to this stupidity". The mediator announces that he see's no reason to alter the visitation as it has been a month and there hasnt been any issues, and that if she cant come up with a better reason than an accusation that hasnt even been proven as of yet, then she is wasting everyones time.
So, the lawyer starts pitching what he thinks are fast balls, and he is catching them right in the kisser each time the hero line drives them right back at him. Nothing the evil bebopsy twins wished for was fulfilled.....Nada.
In the end, the lawyer was humiliated, the ex was pissed and the Hero was elated with the final judgment which is as follows.
1) Custody and visitation DOES NOT CHANGE.
2) The Hero and the Ex must share the cost of a Guardian sumpting sumpting for the child. (This is an attorney that oversees things and impartially represents the child thru out the proceedings). This works in the Hero's favor as anyone that knows him and his child will agree, nothing to hide, nothing to fear.
3) The Hero undergoes Psychological testing and an evaluation. This was funny because the Hero had already arranged for this anyway, so that he could present the results to the court.
The next court date is April 8th, and i think its in the bag, the worst that can happen is anger management stuff, but i have a simple plan that will pretty much get everything dismissed. So all in all, it has been a wonderful day, and i thank you for letting me share this. I love all of you guys, you gave me the wisdom, the patience, the advice, and the determination to not be a victim, and i cant thank you enough. I will leave you with this.
1) A can of coke at the courthouse - 1 dollar.
2) Putting on an act like you are going to get steamrolled by the evil legal machine - Free
3) Doing your homework and watching the ex's asswipe attorney handle other cases and "knowing the enemy" - Free
4) Waking up to a beautiful woman, spending the morning with her and then the experience of getting to see the expression on your ex's face when she realized that she just paid $1200 for her attorney and he is just as dickless and incompetent as her fianc' partnered with the fact that he just got his proverbial ass handed to him by the King_of_Skulls in a courtroom - fucking priceless
P.S.- No offense intended towards anyone with a law degree or any lawyers. This one in particular was just a tool, and the kind of lawyer that has given lawyers a bad rap.
KoS
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K_o_S rocks!
See you tomorrow at Flux?