How has my last year been and what I hope to achieve in the following year.
Well to start off with last year, and the few months prior to it. About 18 months ago I had an unfortunate accident in the workplace which was a fluke injury. Of no one's fault, I basically took a step and my quadriceps tendon on my left knee ruptured clean through.
Now this I've spoken of a few times on SG posts and yes it was the most painful thing I've ever experienced, the short version of the story is the surgeon refused to operate so I was left to heal on its own, it has basically knitted itself back together with scar tissue but all down one side of the knee rather than spanning the full width of the kneecap. This has left me with a huge weakness in the one leg and I overcompensate with the other leg.
Now this time last year my old workplace decided it had given me enough time off to recover and told me if I didnt attend a phased return I would be dismissed. Now anyone who knows me well will attest to my anxiety levels at the best of times to be rather high, so you can imagine how I took the prospect of being told I might be left out a job and with zero income. So against my doctors wishes I went back to work. I was mainly working in the office, but managed to get out now and then to get away from the constant glares of the managers. 4 weeks into my 6 weeks phased return the doctor called me in for a check up and decided the work was too intense, too much too soon and signed me unfit for work. I took the note in to the office the following morning and to my shock the manager at the same time gave me a letter to say I was being investigated and if found guilty of "bringing the company name into disrepute" I'd be dismissed. I honestly believe they had this planned for weeks. They knew by having the doctor sign me off as unfit for my job they would have to pay me to leave, unless they could get rid of me another way.
That night I will confess now was the lowest night of my life, and it was near enough a year to the day, this I know as I got drunk and composed a letter on my computer, which is still saved on the hard drive, where I blame certain managers and a subcontractor for my woes in making up the lies that they said was proof of my wrongdoing. That night I crushed and swallowed an unknown number of painkillers and promptly fell asleep. Obviously I woke up since I'm still here. But I was as sick as a dog for quite a while after.
So this time last year I was at my lowest ever, I could see no future, no positives in my life, I knew the job i had trained so hard at was lost to me, impossible to be an elevator mechanic/lift engineer if you cannot climb stairs. The only place I felt understood was SuicideGirls. I owe this community so much, possibly my life. This time last year all i wanted was somehow to survive, to win the dismissal case against me, to be paid off through ill health and somehow find a new career. And unbelievably I managed all of them. I only got a small amount of money from the former employers but it was just what I needed at the time to survive another few months without the bank kicking me out my apartment. And even better I found a new job. Driving a private hire taxi for the biggest and most well known taxi service in my town, it was pure luck but it turned out I used to work with the brother of the man who owns and runs the taxi company.
So no matter how shite your life seems people there can be light at the end of the tunnel and often from places you least expect it.
Now as for the year to come, first and foremost I'm saving every penny in order to pay back everyone I borrowed from when I was off work for the year. I should be free of that debt within the month, then i can start to save money for myself. Maybe eventually go a short holiday, although it'll have to be UK based for the moment as I have no passport. But the most important thing on my agenda is to try get back to a fitness level where I can perform the job of taxi driver to the best of my abilities. I'll have to lose some weight, stop eating chocolate and drinking Irn-Bru and actually try to build up the muscles in my legs again, I admit I've been falling behind on that front, once I get home from 12hrs driving each day all I want to do is collapse into my bed. Not go out and exercise. But I know the stronger my legs get the better I'll manage driving every day. As well as that I have the task of learning the map, anyone have any hints to learning streets on a map? Or is it just a case of you'll learn it as you drive the streets over and over. These are my aims for the following year, get fitter, get money back in my pocket and be as good a taxi driver as I was a lift engineer.
Thanks to @missy and @rambo for this weeks homework, hopefully this time next year I wont be in quite a down-hearted mood and can be more positive. Thanks again to the SG ladies that have kept me going and kept my spirit up with everything they done for me, I do truly owe you all my life.
