killingyourheroes

My life just keeps spiraling downward. Today my dad collapsed...after complaining about pain...and was rushed off to the emergency room. His cancer is getting worse and there is really nothing anyone can do about it. It hurts to see him suffer and not be able to do anything about it. Just knowing that he might not see any of his daughters get married...or his little baby...(my baby sister Kierra) grow up kills me. Why can't life be fair? Anyway...so my night was spent with Kierra, Tess, and my mom in the waiting room. It seemed like hours before the doctor came out. They don't really know what's wrong with my dad...but they are going to keep him there and watch him for a few days. I love him soooo much...I'm not much of a religious person, but I prayed for him tonight. I'm willing to do anything to make him better.


And you know me...I have a song to relate to everything. This is my song for tonight...



And it came to me then that every plan
Is a tiny glance of father time
As I stared at my shoes in the ICU
That reeked of piss and 409
And I rationed my breaths as I said to myself
that Id already taken too much today
As each descending peak of the LCD
Took you a little farther away from me
Away from me

Amongst the vending machines
And year old magazines
In a place where we only say goodbye
Its done like a violent limp
That our memories depend
On a faulty camera in our minds
And I knew that you were truth
I would rather lose
than to have never lain in the sun at all

Then I looked around at all the eyes on the ground
As the TV entertained itself
Cause theres no comfort in the waiting room
Just nervous paces bracing for bad news
Then the nurse comes round
And everyone lifts their heads
And Im thinking of what Sarah said
That love is watching someone die...


So whos going to watch you die?
So who's going to watch you die?
So who's going to watch you die?


Love,