Okay. I was supposed to be back in Toronto tonight, but something happened (possibly the wussiest storm in existance) and Air Canada grounded all of their planes headed out of Philadelphia. As a result, there were no hotels with rooms for under 300 American dollars anywhere near the airport or in the downtown. Somehow, after calling every hotel I could think of, I ended up on a shuttle headed to a shithole in either Delaware or Delaware County. I'm not sure which one, and I'm not sure if there is a difference. I'm in a field by a highway, basically. I did not pay attention when we did the American geography unit in the ninth grade, so I thought that Delaware was in the midwest until quite recently. And quite recently = in the past few days, sadly. I never said I was learned. ("Learned", regardless of how it is pronounced, reminds me of the Simpsons episode where Homer gets a kid through the "Bigger Brothers" group and shows Pepe the stars. And that's what started me wanting to be called Allen the Cowboy.)
I'm bored as fuck and wired from too much coffee, so I present to you some facts about me that are odd or entertaining:
-I can crack my tailbone by sucking in my stomach.
-I have a crippling fear of corporate logos. (I know I've already posted about this.) The image of major companies (Coke, Pepsi, IBM, KFC, etc...) freak me out to the point where I have to get out of whatever room they're in on many occasions. It has nothing to do with a fear of corporations taking over. I don't know. They just fuck my shit right up.
-I have very small feet. They hover between 5 and 6, tops. I have a pair of size 5 beaded slippers that are atleast a size and a half too big for me, so they may be even smaller than that.
-When I was in the eighth/ninth grade, I started losing patches of my body hair. My eyebrows got weird looking, and to combat it, I got tweezer happy in a vain attempt to even them out. Now I have lopsided eyebrows (one is thinner in the section closest to the centre of my face than the other) and I wish I could just grow them out, but I HATE the look of unkempt inbetween stage eyebrows. It's such a pain in the ass, because I'm sick of looking like Milhouse's mum in that episode where Kirk talked about her putting on her face and her eyebrows were all crooked.
-I somehow relate everything to a Simpsons episode, and quote episodes correctly. I like to think of it as one of my charming attributes.
-I say really stupid things sometimes. The kicker would have to be the time I was trying to advise someone on when mussels are in season (as a vegetarian, I was just being a know it all by trying to speculate on the subject) and I said "they are best eaten on a day that ends with the letter Y." It occured to me that all days end with the letter Y, and even if they didn't, it doesn't make sense that mussels could fluctuate that much. The rule is supposedly actually that they are best in months with the letter R in them, so September-April, or the cold months. That makes sense, I suppose.
-I have a patriotic response to Canada Dry gingerale. Seriously.
-I want to fuck Conan O'Brien. Come here, my little red head baby. Also, ever since he came to Canada this past year, I have been getting the attention of groups by adressing them as "my litttle Canadian babies." This includes kids I'm responsable for.
-I am a TA in a freshman musical theatre elective class. It's at an art school I spent four years of my life at and it's basically a half year course that rotates mid year attended by kids in every major asides from musical theatre (visual art, strings, dance, drama and band.) They are absolutely adorable and they recently performed a montage of scenes and songs from "Grease", so I got to teach routines for "Look at Me, I'm Sandra Dee", "Summer Lovin'", "Greased Lightening" and "We Go Together." One day I heard a group of them practicing on the subway and it was the sweetest thing in the world.
-When something is adorable, I will frequently say that it melts my heart of ice. I do not actually have a heart of ice. I have a heart of stone. Heh.
-I stole "Heh" from LateEdge and I will not give it back.
-When I taught a kinda hip hop-ish class at the community centre in my neighbourhood, I used "El Oso" by Soul Coughing as the warm up, rotating songs, but always omitting "Houston" because it's full of the swears and they were mostly around 10-12. "Roller boogie, Motherfucker" is not appropriate for them, apparantly. I have always had ideas in my head for a group modern piece (6-8 people, probably all women) to "Rolling." The moves are pretty much all in my head. And I performed a solo lyrical-style piece to "True Dreams of Wichita" in a workshop a little over two years ago. I also hope that didn't infringe on any Doughty related copywright things... In my defense, I was young and didn't know to ask. It was also a pretty private and small performance.
-I am sitting in the lobby of this hotel and there is an informercial of a woman shaving her arms. I cannot find the remote and it's one of those buttonless TVs. Now she is shaving her lady mustache. Not on.
-I am addicted to Lush cosmetics because they make me smell good, and enhance my oddly milky smell. I'm considering starting an SG group particularly about it and other hippy/home made/elitist skin care products. I'm not that shallow... Yet.
-I'm really interested in modern Jewish culture, and particularly as it manifests itself in comedy (The Marx Brothers and Woody Allen primarily, but 90% of the great comedians of our generation were Jewish...) and have applied to do some study on the link. Also, I've got a major yen for Jewish men (ooh, a Jason Robert Brown-inspired rhyme), even if they only use it to get free memberships to the JCC gym and don't actually identify with being Jewish.
-I don't know how to smile properly without being made to laugh. It always comes out looking somehow square. Weeeeird.
That's all I've got for now. I think I should probably go to bed. Leave me some love.
I'm bored as fuck and wired from too much coffee, so I present to you some facts about me that are odd or entertaining:
-I can crack my tailbone by sucking in my stomach.
-I have a crippling fear of corporate logos. (I know I've already posted about this.) The image of major companies (Coke, Pepsi, IBM, KFC, etc...) freak me out to the point where I have to get out of whatever room they're in on many occasions. It has nothing to do with a fear of corporations taking over. I don't know. They just fuck my shit right up.
-I have very small feet. They hover between 5 and 6, tops. I have a pair of size 5 beaded slippers that are atleast a size and a half too big for me, so they may be even smaller than that.
-When I was in the eighth/ninth grade, I started losing patches of my body hair. My eyebrows got weird looking, and to combat it, I got tweezer happy in a vain attempt to even them out. Now I have lopsided eyebrows (one is thinner in the section closest to the centre of my face than the other) and I wish I could just grow them out, but I HATE the look of unkempt inbetween stage eyebrows. It's such a pain in the ass, because I'm sick of looking like Milhouse's mum in that episode where Kirk talked about her putting on her face and her eyebrows were all crooked.
-I somehow relate everything to a Simpsons episode, and quote episodes correctly. I like to think of it as one of my charming attributes.
-I say really stupid things sometimes. The kicker would have to be the time I was trying to advise someone on when mussels are in season (as a vegetarian, I was just being a know it all by trying to speculate on the subject) and I said "they are best eaten on a day that ends with the letter Y." It occured to me that all days end with the letter Y, and even if they didn't, it doesn't make sense that mussels could fluctuate that much. The rule is supposedly actually that they are best in months with the letter R in them, so September-April, or the cold months. That makes sense, I suppose.
-I have a patriotic response to Canada Dry gingerale. Seriously.
-I want to fuck Conan O'Brien. Come here, my little red head baby. Also, ever since he came to Canada this past year, I have been getting the attention of groups by adressing them as "my litttle Canadian babies." This includes kids I'm responsable for.
-I am a TA in a freshman musical theatre elective class. It's at an art school I spent four years of my life at and it's basically a half year course that rotates mid year attended by kids in every major asides from musical theatre (visual art, strings, dance, drama and band.) They are absolutely adorable and they recently performed a montage of scenes and songs from "Grease", so I got to teach routines for "Look at Me, I'm Sandra Dee", "Summer Lovin'", "Greased Lightening" and "We Go Together." One day I heard a group of them practicing on the subway and it was the sweetest thing in the world.
-When something is adorable, I will frequently say that it melts my heart of ice. I do not actually have a heart of ice. I have a heart of stone. Heh.
-I stole "Heh" from LateEdge and I will not give it back.
-When I taught a kinda hip hop-ish class at the community centre in my neighbourhood, I used "El Oso" by Soul Coughing as the warm up, rotating songs, but always omitting "Houston" because it's full of the swears and they were mostly around 10-12. "Roller boogie, Motherfucker" is not appropriate for them, apparantly. I have always had ideas in my head for a group modern piece (6-8 people, probably all women) to "Rolling." The moves are pretty much all in my head. And I performed a solo lyrical-style piece to "True Dreams of Wichita" in a workshop a little over two years ago. I also hope that didn't infringe on any Doughty related copywright things... In my defense, I was young and didn't know to ask. It was also a pretty private and small performance.
-I am sitting in the lobby of this hotel and there is an informercial of a woman shaving her arms. I cannot find the remote and it's one of those buttonless TVs. Now she is shaving her lady mustache. Not on.
-I am addicted to Lush cosmetics because they make me smell good, and enhance my oddly milky smell. I'm considering starting an SG group particularly about it and other hippy/home made/elitist skin care products. I'm not that shallow... Yet.
-I'm really interested in modern Jewish culture, and particularly as it manifests itself in comedy (The Marx Brothers and Woody Allen primarily, but 90% of the great comedians of our generation were Jewish...) and have applied to do some study on the link. Also, I've got a major yen for Jewish men (ooh, a Jason Robert Brown-inspired rhyme), even if they only use it to get free memberships to the JCC gym and don't actually identify with being Jewish.
-I don't know how to smile properly without being made to laugh. It always comes out looking somehow square. Weeeeird.
That's all I've got for now. I think I should probably go to bed. Leave me some love.
VIEW 9 of 9 COMMENTS
So yea, I figured you probably saw me in one of our mutual groups, and I noticed you liked M. Doughty.
Now you see, there's a small problem with "adorable" and "cute", most girls seem to think that things like this,
are "cute" and "adorable", when everyone knows that they're some of the ugliest creatures on the face of this planet. I rest my case
Oh, I'll stop now. Nice to meet you too!
my clunky black glasses just got clunkier!