killedwithkarate

I worry that I'm getting dumber. I haven't read anything non-music related since I got to McGill. I'm all like Lisa Simpson and breathing into a paper bag and flipping out about how I'm losing my perspicacity. I'm not saying that I want to be surrounded by pretensious douchebags/couchetards all the time, but I'd like to have some more conversations that allow me to "flex my head" so to speak. I also feel like I'm getting lazy with my sense of humour somehow. I've fallen into a rut with my thugisms and net speak. Don't get me wrong. It's funny as fuck to yell "OH EM GEE" when something's not right or to point out how "this shit is bananas" once in a while, but I feel like I've painted myself into a corner somehow by using it as the bread and butter of the informal comedy routine which is my life. (See? I'm dumb. I'm not sure whether it's "which" or "that." I knew it!) I need a new act.

The thing is, I know I'm a smart girl. A lot of why I can come off as kind of air headed is that I have spent most of my formulating years turning off my brain, trying to look on the bright side and succeeding admirably. It's a defense mechanism, but now I'm in Montreal and at McGill and among wonderful friends, but I can't shake acting like a dipstick on purpose. I don't think it's engrained in my personality just yet, but it very well might be. In a way, it's like how I used to like "Gasolina" by Daddy Yankee on a purely ironic hipster-y level, but now it's one of my top played songs and I'm not even sure how that happened. I really just need mental stimulation badly. Being in improv and writer's craft kind of forced me to turn on my brain and think both on the spot and over time. If I didn't know how bad of an idea it would be, I'd take an english or religious studies class next semester. You know, because I need a 9 class course load. That would be a smart move.