killary

MASTURBATING:

I almost forgot how to spell that.

Is it weird to be excited about coming home and masturbating? It's not something I'm usually excited about. More often than not, it's something that has to be planned around or set aside. But for some reason today my mind was reeling with thoughts about sexy things.

I can honestly say that my brain masturbates more easily than my body. For the longest time I looked at touching myself the way I'd look at tickling myself; it's just not as fun when you're doing it to yourself. That's still true, I think. But over time, and with a little more sexual maturity, I've found ways to make it daring and different. That's extremely helpful to someone like me, as I get bored pretty quickly when it comes to my sex life. I need variety or I will lose interest... maybe that's what happened with masturbating?

It seems to be something I've built upon. Initially it was just hand on vag. That got old pretty fast. So it became hand on vag, hand on nipples. I looked down on the concept of toys when I was younger-- I didn't know any better! The thought of something plastic and foreign was not sexy. Eventually I was introduced to the world of vibrating toys (vibrators, bullets, etc). Once you're opened up to the concept of using toys to masturbate, you really can't go anywhere but up.

My fondness for sadism and masochism was always a vague intrigue when I was a teenager. After exploring it and learning a little bit more, I was able to spice up my sessions with things that clamp and pinch. Nothing compares to a partner wielding a paddle (I still think spanking myself is awkward), but it's nice to know what you like and how to give it to yourself. I never have to worry about pulling my hair too hard or biting down on one spot too much when I'm alone.

I know what should have factored in by now- Porn, right? Well, without elaborating on the issue too much, I was not always a fan. Porn took more time for me to grow into than anything else. Yeah, yeah, it's backwards. How can you like to be swatted to the point of red, swollen tenderness but not be down with watching a Jenna Jameson vid? I know it's not the norm, but again, without elaborating...

Anyway, now I've made my peach with porno, and I can use it to help release my pent up frustrations. I'm not into watching it with others, so it sort of works out that I'd watch it when I go to town.

Keeping with my first thought, though. I've rarely been eager to come right home after work and get juiced, but then again I've rarely been hot and bothered for what seems like over 2 days. What with the boyfriend being sickly, I can't really take advantage of what's already there, so I've resigned myself to getting steamy while nobody else is home.

Since there have been people coming and going from our house lately, I'm a little worried about being overheard (I'm extremely vocal) and caught. Yes, it adds to the hotness, but being found out by your boyfriend's father is not exactly arousing.

I guess if worse comes to worst, I can always steal away to take a long shower. Changeable showerhead settings are awesome