WHY ALCOHOL IS BAD (Absynthe in particular)
1. You fall down a pothole in 5 inch stilettos, using your kneecap to 'soften' the fall, cry hysterically in
pain and smudge mascara all over your face.
2. You emotionally tell everyone you love them, including an ex!
3. You attempt to breakdance on the dancefloor and do a backflip, wake up to realise
a) your spine may be severly damaged
b) you have glass embedded in your feet (because at the time of course it made sense to take off
said knee breaking stilettos)
c) the reason you were outdone on the dancefloor is because you gatecrashed the
afterparty of the UK street and breakdance championship finals! Of course your performance
left them completely stunned!
4. You hilariously walk up to a massive bloke who your boss is quietly chatting to, offer a handshake
'cos he must be important as everyone is looking in his direction. Amusingly assholed you introduce
yourself to massive bloke, with stupid grin on your face ,only to next morning discuss with boss and
are made aware said bloke is infact UK leader LEADER of the Hells Angels (no wonder he
looked bewildered....still good to be on the same side I say)
5. You wait 2 hours for a bus home and worry as it's almost 5 am and work starts in 3 hours time. Then realise the London bus strike THAT YOU YOURSELF warned everyone about earlier that day, was in progress. Then spend the rest of your cash on a taxi, realising the next morning it was in fact your rent money that you spent!
6. I want to die...and feel like I am going to die out of sheer embarassment and/or my painful spine and golf ball shaped knee cap! Head also feels like it has been bashed more than once with a wrought iron cooker.
REPEAT MANTRA
Drinking is not for you
Drinking is not for you
Drinking is not for you
1. You fall down a pothole in 5 inch stilettos, using your kneecap to 'soften' the fall, cry hysterically in
pain and smudge mascara all over your face.
2. You emotionally tell everyone you love them, including an ex!
3. You attempt to breakdance on the dancefloor and do a backflip, wake up to realise
a) your spine may be severly damaged
b) you have glass embedded in your feet (because at the time of course it made sense to take off
said knee breaking stilettos)
c) the reason you were outdone on the dancefloor is because you gatecrashed the
afterparty of the UK street and breakdance championship finals! Of course your performance
left them completely stunned!
4. You hilariously walk up to a massive bloke who your boss is quietly chatting to, offer a handshake
'cos he must be important as everyone is looking in his direction. Amusingly assholed you introduce
yourself to massive bloke, with stupid grin on your face ,only to next morning discuss with boss and
are made aware said bloke is infact UK leader LEADER of the Hells Angels (no wonder he
looked bewildered....still good to be on the same side I say)
5. You wait 2 hours for a bus home and worry as it's almost 5 am and work starts in 3 hours time. Then realise the London bus strike THAT YOU YOURSELF warned everyone about earlier that day, was in progress. Then spend the rest of your cash on a taxi, realising the next morning it was in fact your rent money that you spent!
6. I want to die...and feel like I am going to die out of sheer embarassment and/or my painful spine and golf ball shaped knee cap! Head also feels like it has been bashed more than once with a wrought iron cooker.
REPEAT MANTRA
Drinking is not for you
Drinking is not for you
Drinking is not for you
VIEW 9 of 9 COMMENTS
Hope you're feeling better.