Today was a disaster. ...How to tell things in the order they happened.... ??
Well, I went to class today and couldn't really stay for more than a little while as I was passing out on my desk. I came home and took a nap. When I woke up, I had a strange inclination... See, I haven't been taking my bipolar meds because I thought I was doing better. I started feeling manic last night. Anyway, today after I woke up from my nap I decided it would be a good idea to go on a stealing spree. I wish I'd just taking my medication last night! *sigh*
Sooo, I got caught and I was arrested. They wanted to put me away until my arraignment on Halloween. I saw a judge for a brief moment and was given bail. My bail was only $5 because that was all I could afford. After that, I was written a ciation and released and given the number of my public defender. I'm going to plead innocent on terms of insanity... I think. I have to do some research on the best way to handle this. So, my court date is on Halloween morning... I guess I have a while to decide what I'm going to do about this. ...I'm so embarassed. I'm not a thief! ...Things just happened that way. I know it's hard for people to understand who have never suffered bipolar mania for ten years... Part of mania is having elevated feelings that cause uncontrollable shopping, or, in this case, an incentive to steal which is totally against my values and ethics. Oh god it was so embarassing. I just feel miserable now. So much for the mania..... I'm depressed as anything now. I'm also being sued for $500 by Macy's. I don't know where I'm going to come up with this cash, but I think I'll be allowed to arrange a payment plan. God God God... I don't want to tell my parents. Since I'm an adult, I really don't have to tell them or get them involved, which I think I will go with as I know they don't need any extra stress right now. I suppose I'll only tell them about it if I end up being unable to pay my fines. At worst, I may be put in a detention facility, i.e. jail, for up to two months. Since I was unaware of myself and my actions, I'm hoping that they'll just give me a fine and community service, or maybe probation. Ugh, I don't know. This is just awwwwwwwwful! Hunter's not home yet... I'm going to have to tell him. I don't know what he's going to say. I hope he's not angry with me or anything. Arrrghhhh... Well, I guess I'm going to sign off now. If anyone has had any experience with what I've described or if anyone is a law student or a lawyer, please leave me a note or something with any advice any of you have. Thanks again and I'm sorry to have disappointed everyone --my friends, my family, my SG friends. Pray for me... If that's something you do.
Xoxo,
--An upset Kikou
VIEW 5 of 5 COMMENTS
I would trust a public defender about as much as I would trust a killer whale. Do you have any priors or is this your first offense? If you have no priors then forget detention or even having a record, if you do there is still a good chance you will get little more then a fine and some classes IF you get a real attorney. The key to winning a court battle whether guilty as hell or otherwise is to have proper representation. Not to mention this is a pretty minor infraction. Wait... Why is Macy's suing you?
Could be worse.
You *have* to keep taking your medication. The fact that you are feeling better means *'it's working.* And I know that's really hard--that you may have to take something everyday for the rest of your life--but it's better than feeling like something has taken over your body and made you do all sorts of crazy things.
*hugs*