Love and fear
It appears, to me, these are the two emotions that control the conscience
Several years ago an event occurred in my life that caused me to start living in fear, and since that day, Ive persistently worked on trying to figure out how to supplant this fear with love again.. in this process Ive metamorphosed into a different person.. a better person, I think. Ive worked exceptionally hard to evolve as a woman with a high level of acceptance of everything, everyone and every experience I encounter, and somehow it seems that the acceptance of myself has been the most difficult of all.
Acceptance of the friends Ive lost, and why.. acceptance of the decisions I make and why.. acceptance of thoughts I produce and why.. acceptance of my intuition and what it means..
I find it fascinating that I feel it almost effortless to be accepting of other people for who and what they are, than accepting myself, when I know myself best. Im having a difficult time figuring out what is best for me in my life, yet when Im asked to provide advise on someone elses.. Im able to provide a logical and objective opinion.. it appears so obvious to me. But lately I find Im incapable of doing it for myself..
Ive always felt that events occurred in my life for a purpose, and its just a matter of time before it becomes unmistakably clear to me what that purpose is.. this is the first time in years that Ive had difficulty seeing a clear picture after an extended period of time.. this concerns me in ways that Im incapable of conveying which is where fear establishes its role in my lifes theatrical production Im striving to be patient.. and endure until its ready to parade its obvious face.. wearily trying to keep myself distracted, and not knowing if my actions are stunting its appearance, or making no difference at all.
This clear perspective would allow me to formulate decisions, and realign my forward momentum Im merely waiting for the play to begin
This whole state of affairs fills me with an incredible and somewhat crushing sadness
It appears, to me, these are the two emotions that control the conscience
Several years ago an event occurred in my life that caused me to start living in fear, and since that day, Ive persistently worked on trying to figure out how to supplant this fear with love again.. in this process Ive metamorphosed into a different person.. a better person, I think. Ive worked exceptionally hard to evolve as a woman with a high level of acceptance of everything, everyone and every experience I encounter, and somehow it seems that the acceptance of myself has been the most difficult of all.
Acceptance of the friends Ive lost, and why.. acceptance of the decisions I make and why.. acceptance of thoughts I produce and why.. acceptance of my intuition and what it means..
I find it fascinating that I feel it almost effortless to be accepting of other people for who and what they are, than accepting myself, when I know myself best. Im having a difficult time figuring out what is best for me in my life, yet when Im asked to provide advise on someone elses.. Im able to provide a logical and objective opinion.. it appears so obvious to me. But lately I find Im incapable of doing it for myself..
Ive always felt that events occurred in my life for a purpose, and its just a matter of time before it becomes unmistakably clear to me what that purpose is.. this is the first time in years that Ive had difficulty seeing a clear picture after an extended period of time.. this concerns me in ways that Im incapable of conveying which is where fear establishes its role in my lifes theatrical production Im striving to be patient.. and endure until its ready to parade its obvious face.. wearily trying to keep myself distracted, and not knowing if my actions are stunting its appearance, or making no difference at all.
This clear perspective would allow me to formulate decisions, and realign my forward momentum Im merely waiting for the play to begin
This whole state of affairs fills me with an incredible and somewhat crushing sadness
VIEW 20 of 20 COMMENTS
apexxx:
sweeet! its been foreva since i last saw your punk ass! 
wired:
Was just woundering how you doing today??