kiddy

have you ever put a band-aid around your finger because of a small cut and you accidentally put the band-aid too tight that it's cutting off your circulation? i think i do this on purpose just so i can see some other type of colour put into my immaculate skin. call me weird but i'm currently fascinated with hands for some reason. without mine i wouldn't be able to write or type any of the stuff i do, carry a wedding ring on my finger, feed myself, point out the beautiful, hold my ex lovers hand, and so on and so on. i've been having horrid nightmares for the past five days. i find myself tossing and turning more than usual and none of these dreams seem to make sense to me. ones where people are chasing me, yelling at me, and abusing me. i'd really like to know what's going on. dreams that consist of having a stranger in a kitchen with a handful of oleanders only to be dipped into a tall glass of milky wine and in the morning he was sure the poison would be the death of me. sometimes i feel like i'm living my life in a cinema scene, just another one of those overly dramatic teenage movies that'll come out on DVD right away because it wasn't good enough to make it to the big screens.