So, I know BRS was waiting for it ... has probably forgotten all about it by now, but, here, as promised, are five things I love about myself.
1. I love the fact that I got a book published before I turned 30. And that some people even seem to like it, and what's more, respect it.
2. I love my body. I don't treat it so well, I know, but it seems to forgive. It's a resilient sort. But the fact that I can look at almost any part of my body and smile - the fact that I can watch a lover's eyes acquire that strange distance eyes always do as they infuse the subject of their gaze with a kind of beauty ... well, I can't be thankful enough for that. That's not to say that I don't have my moments of insecurity. I know that in the grand scheme of things, and by the standards of masculinity, I'm nothing but a fairly skinny, tall-ish, Irish sort, and that doesn't make me anything special. But I'm so happy that I'm not hung up on hating my body.
3. I love that I feel weird about writing this list. In our culture it seems like humility has fallen to the lowest rung of the good characteristics ladder, but I'm glad I'm humble. In a world of overinflated egos and living demi-deities, I think it's saying something.
4. I love that I give a crap about the English language, but that I'm not really a grammar Nazi. Yes, I yell at commercials and billboards (and facebook), when they use 'their' as a singular pronoun or use "thou" when they mean "thine" (those of you who ever wander by Emeryville may know what I mean), and am tempted to yell at people when they say things like "People that care." But I also think that languages are plastic, adaptable, and no one should denigrate others for using different forms of a language when it stems either from ignorance or knowledge. I like regional dialects - the fact that when I go to the South I meet people who I cannot, for the life of me, understand, is actually great. Languages, meaning and expression thrive on variety, and the sad fact is that languages, like species, are dying out. And yes, I know, English has something to do with that - and that that fact has something to do with our cultural imperialism. But, in a sense, you have to admire a language with the power to do that. I mean, what has Latin done for you lately? And I don't mean "nothing."
5. Finally, I love that I didn't graduate high school, go directly to college and then either straight to grad school or some "decent" job. I like that I grew up lower middle class and can fairly claim that I supported myself through college. That I dropped out when I got tired of it, moved to Mexico and slept on a beach for a month. That I hitchhiked with a coke dealer back up through Baja, keeping awake all night for fear that he'd do something horror-film to my then-girlfriend. That with the last of my money I bought Greyhound tickets for the both of us to Alabama, where I worked in a steel company (black fingernails, long hair and fishnets and all) till I had enough to get us to Florida. That I lived in a nudist resort for 2 years and that it wasn't filled with pretty people, and that I can therefore look at just about any human body and feel not the slightest strain of repulsion (well, the grotesquely fat are still a little difficult). That I finally did finish school and now do have a fairly decent job. That I've tried just about every sort of drug and still make a living, and get my creative work published, on the basis of my brain. That I've made love to men and women and don't feel the slightest shame about it.
It hasn't been a novel of a life (believe me, I've tried), but it also hasn't been cookie cutter. And I love that.
Oh ... and I know I'm cheating here, but I've got one more:
6. That I have, somehow, managed to earn the love, friendship, and even respect, of some truly admirable people. Like you.
1. I love the fact that I got a book published before I turned 30. And that some people even seem to like it, and what's more, respect it.
2. I love my body. I don't treat it so well, I know, but it seems to forgive. It's a resilient sort. But the fact that I can look at almost any part of my body and smile - the fact that I can watch a lover's eyes acquire that strange distance eyes always do as they infuse the subject of their gaze with a kind of beauty ... well, I can't be thankful enough for that. That's not to say that I don't have my moments of insecurity. I know that in the grand scheme of things, and by the standards of masculinity, I'm nothing but a fairly skinny, tall-ish, Irish sort, and that doesn't make me anything special. But I'm so happy that I'm not hung up on hating my body.
3. I love that I feel weird about writing this list. In our culture it seems like humility has fallen to the lowest rung of the good characteristics ladder, but I'm glad I'm humble. In a world of overinflated egos and living demi-deities, I think it's saying something.
4. I love that I give a crap about the English language, but that I'm not really a grammar Nazi. Yes, I yell at commercials and billboards (and facebook), when they use 'their' as a singular pronoun or use "thou" when they mean "thine" (those of you who ever wander by Emeryville may know what I mean), and am tempted to yell at people when they say things like "People that care." But I also think that languages are plastic, adaptable, and no one should denigrate others for using different forms of a language when it stems either from ignorance or knowledge. I like regional dialects - the fact that when I go to the South I meet people who I cannot, for the life of me, understand, is actually great. Languages, meaning and expression thrive on variety, and the sad fact is that languages, like species, are dying out. And yes, I know, English has something to do with that - and that that fact has something to do with our cultural imperialism. But, in a sense, you have to admire a language with the power to do that. I mean, what has Latin done for you lately? And I don't mean "nothing."
5. Finally, I love that I didn't graduate high school, go directly to college and then either straight to grad school or some "decent" job. I like that I grew up lower middle class and can fairly claim that I supported myself through college. That I dropped out when I got tired of it, moved to Mexico and slept on a beach for a month. That I hitchhiked with a coke dealer back up through Baja, keeping awake all night for fear that he'd do something horror-film to my then-girlfriend. That with the last of my money I bought Greyhound tickets for the both of us to Alabama, where I worked in a steel company (black fingernails, long hair and fishnets and all) till I had enough to get us to Florida. That I lived in a nudist resort for 2 years and that it wasn't filled with pretty people, and that I can therefore look at just about any human body and feel not the slightest strain of repulsion (well, the grotesquely fat are still a little difficult). That I finally did finish school and now do have a fairly decent job. That I've tried just about every sort of drug and still make a living, and get my creative work published, on the basis of my brain. That I've made love to men and women and don't feel the slightest shame about it.
It hasn't been a novel of a life (believe me, I've tried), but it also hasn't been cookie cutter. And I love that.
Oh ... and I know I'm cheating here, but I've got one more:
6. That I have, somehow, managed to earn the love, friendship, and even respect, of some truly admirable people. Like you.
thanks so much for your support on my sets and stuff!!