Whew....it's been a very difficult past couple of weeks.
My brother has developed a kind of Paranoid/Depressive Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder (OCD).
To give you an idea of how bad it is without actually mentioning the exact types of things he's been obsessing over, I give you this example of the kind of obsessive guilt he puts on himself.
He worries that he might have given people a virus because he blew his nose into a tissue and he's worried someone might have picked it up and gotten sick off of it.
It's made him so germophobic that he's bought four gallons (and I'm not exaggerating on the amount) of antibacterial gel, and he sanitizes everything he touches. Keys, Silverware, Razors, Wallet, Remote Controls, Everything!
A week ago he left the house without telling anyone, and without taking he cell phone and, because of the depressive state he's been in, he scared the living shit out of us all...because we did'nt know where he went or why. For all we knew he could've been going out to jump off a bridge! I gave him one Hell of a royal ass-chewing when he got home! He had out mother bawling, which really pissed me off in the first place.
He's getting help. He's been to the Veteran's Hospital down in Little Rock, and he's on meds right now (I don't know what kind they are...sorry), and he's making weekly visits back down there for psychological visists.
I hope to God he can get through this.
I guess what has me most upset is that He's always been the strong one...emotionally that is.
He's always been the more level-headed, cooler tempered one, while I was the depressed, emotionally unbalanced, hot head.
And now, here I am FINALLY getting my shit togther, getting my head and heart straightened out and gaining some focus in my life...and all of a sudden, he has started losing it.
He's even stopped going to Kenpo Karate. He's missed the last month straight. He's only worked one day in the past three weeks. I'm worried what's going to happen to him.
I guess I'm scared that he's giving up. I hope he has'nt. Because I've been in that dark place without hope...and it almost consumed me.
I guess I'll have to be the strong one now.
Anyway, on a more pleasant note, we had our final belt test tonight at Kenpo Karate...I am now at Orange Belt. I will be offically presented it next week.
I still have a long way to go though. There are ten belt levels in American Kenpo Karate....White, Yellow, Orange, Purple, Blue, Green, Brown 1,Brown 2, Brown 3 (or Red in some systems, including ours, I think), and Black.
And the time between levels will get longer and longer, as we not only have to prove that we've learned all the new material for each belt, but also that we've retained everything else from each belt level up to that point.
Like tonight, I not only had to demonstrate all the Yellow Belt material, but all the White Belt material as well. And when I test for Purple, I will have to show the White, Yellow, and Orange Belt material. You see?
But the best part is, that with Orange Belt, we start learning our first weapon...Escrima Sticks!!
I have always wanted to learn some form of martial arts weapon, and now I get to!
Also, we've been doing inventory at work for the past week. Official count is next Wednsday..but I think we'll make it ok.
I've been having some trouble with my assistant, my supervisor, and my co-manager, but I think I'll save that for another post, if I decide to post it at all...one frustrating tale per post is enough.
My ear piercings are healing up fine. I caught the left one on my pillowcase this morning and twisted the shit out of it! It' s only a little sore right now, but it hurt like hell when I caught it! Ouch!
I'm kinda jazzed about them...I've already bought two sets of earrings for when I take these primary ones out.
Well, that's all I have for now.
Later my friends.
My brother has developed a kind of Paranoid/Depressive Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder (OCD).
To give you an idea of how bad it is without actually mentioning the exact types of things he's been obsessing over, I give you this example of the kind of obsessive guilt he puts on himself.
He worries that he might have given people a virus because he blew his nose into a tissue and he's worried someone might have picked it up and gotten sick off of it.
It's made him so germophobic that he's bought four gallons (and I'm not exaggerating on the amount) of antibacterial gel, and he sanitizes everything he touches. Keys, Silverware, Razors, Wallet, Remote Controls, Everything!
A week ago he left the house without telling anyone, and without taking he cell phone and, because of the depressive state he's been in, he scared the living shit out of us all...because we did'nt know where he went or why. For all we knew he could've been going out to jump off a bridge! I gave him one Hell of a royal ass-chewing when he got home! He had out mother bawling, which really pissed me off in the first place.
He's getting help. He's been to the Veteran's Hospital down in Little Rock, and he's on meds right now (I don't know what kind they are...sorry), and he's making weekly visits back down there for psychological visists.
I hope to God he can get through this.
I guess what has me most upset is that He's always been the strong one...emotionally that is.
He's always been the more level-headed, cooler tempered one, while I was the depressed, emotionally unbalanced, hot head.
And now, here I am FINALLY getting my shit togther, getting my head and heart straightened out and gaining some focus in my life...and all of a sudden, he has started losing it.
He's even stopped going to Kenpo Karate. He's missed the last month straight. He's only worked one day in the past three weeks. I'm worried what's going to happen to him.
I guess I'm scared that he's giving up. I hope he has'nt. Because I've been in that dark place without hope...and it almost consumed me.
I guess I'll have to be the strong one now.
Anyway, on a more pleasant note, we had our final belt test tonight at Kenpo Karate...I am now at Orange Belt. I will be offically presented it next week.
I still have a long way to go though. There are ten belt levels in American Kenpo Karate....White, Yellow, Orange, Purple, Blue, Green, Brown 1,Brown 2, Brown 3 (or Red in some systems, including ours, I think), and Black.
And the time between levels will get longer and longer, as we not only have to prove that we've learned all the new material for each belt, but also that we've retained everything else from each belt level up to that point.
Like tonight, I not only had to demonstrate all the Yellow Belt material, but all the White Belt material as well. And when I test for Purple, I will have to show the White, Yellow, and Orange Belt material. You see?
But the best part is, that with Orange Belt, we start learning our first weapon...Escrima Sticks!!
I have always wanted to learn some form of martial arts weapon, and now I get to!
Also, we've been doing inventory at work for the past week. Official count is next Wednsday..but I think we'll make it ok.
I've been having some trouble with my assistant, my supervisor, and my co-manager, but I think I'll save that for another post, if I decide to post it at all...one frustrating tale per post is enough.
My ear piercings are healing up fine. I caught the left one on my pillowcase this morning and twisted the shit out of it! It' s only a little sore right now, but it hurt like hell when I caught it! Ouch!
I'm kinda jazzed about them...I've already bought two sets of earrings for when I take these primary ones out.
Well, that's all I have for now.
Later my friends.
VIEW 5 of 5 COMMENTS
Congrats on the orange belt. Weapons - sounds like fun.
I hope I stick with the exercise thing too. I really want to feel better about the way I look. I am sure when I start to lose weight and see the results if will only help me stick with it.