Maybe I need to follow my own advice at times... I wrote on a friend's post "until you are OK by yourself and with yourself... you can't really be OK with anybody else..." I have a habit of gravitating towards people who are struggling, who are slightly or majorly broken... they set off my paternal instincts strongly on some gut level... I want to protect them and help... and I get kinda twisted up in it emotionally while I'm at it. I guess I have this arrogant notion I can somehow "fix" another person... I can't help myself, I'm kind of built that way wanting to help others. Somebody close to me said maybe I need to be more selfish, which is probably at least a little true, but damn hard for me in real life. I generally would rather take than give the hurt, which unfortunately as often as not leaves me feeling somewhere between a punching bag and crash test dummy. I guess I just need to center myself a bit, figure out what I want and what direction to go. I need to gain some perspective as to who I am, not just to myself, but also to others. I need to recognize when I'm looking for something that's not there, or not seeing something that is. I guess that's the trick for all of us.
