What In The...

It's been a pretty crazy few days in my mind.. No surprise.

But what goes up must come down... Or some other cliche.

Basically, I want to shoot again. For the first time in 4 months, I have use of both of my hands, even if it's not completely healed yet. It has been waaaay too long since I've taken some photographs
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keziasuicide:

@theatombomb Initiating is where the anxiety first grows. It's fun... Not. hahaha keeping friends just takes practice... I'm hoping. Let's all stay friends! Support group ;)

theatombomb:

I say that's a great plan!  :)

I'm terrified...

I've reached a point of no return... Either I gotta figure out how to make this Suicide Girls thing happen, or I have to admit that I'm not it.

I never thought I would be successful as a model and that doubted seeded in me has made it impossible to move forward. All I wanted to do was take photographs of the girls...
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stormyent:

I've felt so terrible for everything that happened between us, and I didn't deal with it as well as I could have. I was holding onto a lot of anger from injuries, and wasn't as understanding then as I hope I am now. I'm really glad that you wrote this all out, and that a lot has changed for you and I. I can definitely feel it just from reading all of this. Please continue to focus on yourself and your health, I promise you that you don't need to be as fearful. You have a lot of talent, and I would love to see you thrive. I'm so sorry for everything that I put you through. You deserved a better friend. I'm submitting the photos tonight and will message you if we need to submit any paperwork or anything! Gosh, I'm so excited to finally publish these! Thank you!!!! 

keziasuicide:

I'm so glad this happened. I got juuuuuuust stoned enough to be honest and truly apologize. I really appreciate your apologies, but honestly, I owe you just as many. We are girls. We say and do things we don't mean. At the end of the day, I'm thrilled that we can move past it. And I hope that I can move past my fear. It hasn't done me any favours so far! Can't wait to see those pictures :)

ADVENTURE! Are you on the West Coast?

Hey SG,

I'm going on a bit of an adventure down the west coast to Sacramento. I'm debating on going to San Francisco while I'm nearby. Definitely stopping in Portland for a couple days to see a friend. There will be a stop in either Seattle or Bellingham... Not sure which yet.

If anyone lives in any of those cities, or places...
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theatombomb:

Avoiding relationships certainly helps out tons...doesn't it?!  Enjoy your trip!  :)

Click Refresh

Today was nice. I had a bit of a stressful day at work as I was training a new employee at the coffee shop while my new manager and fellow barista were being passively mad at each other. I made them talk it out and it seems like things might settle enough for them to allllmost get along. Good thing they rarely work at the...
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Catching Up!

When you avoid life for 2 months, it takes quite a while to catch up and keep on top of things. After a pretty major depression, I've come out on the other side with goals coming to fruition and a huge amount of stress being lifted. Here are the things you can look forward to in the next month or two!

-My first SG...
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damian_stark:

If I ever make it to Vancouver, I'll be sure to stop by and see you.

Sunshine and TGOAT

I miss The Ghost Of A Thousand. Im glad I get to listen to their music forever, and wear their merch, but I wish seeing them was still possible. Got this shirt at their last show in London at the Camden Underworld.

Finally

I don't know what this last month has done to me, but things are clearing up. I'm focusing, while simultaneously being completely overwhelmed by the amount of stuff I take on. I have about a million goals, but with the right schedule ANYTHING is possible.

Suicide Girls is a serious investment. I would make excuses, like my fear or insecurities. Then I dealt...
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awonderlandx3:

Yay! I need to stop being lazy on here also but it's hard caz I don't have a laptop so I use my phone. So best of luck to you! :)

keziasuicide:

@damian_stark Hahahaha can I be the Robin to your Batman? I loled hardcore. @awonderlandx3 Yeah, I know what you mean. I'm counting down the days until Suicide Girls realize that an app is ABSOLUTELY necessary!! On my phone, I always seem to have trouble with posting pictures. Blogs are fine, oddly. I don't get it. But yeah, we will have to both keep ontop of it. Doing pretty okay so far, I think! I've been seeing lots of cool stuff from you, beautiful! :P

Life

I wandered in to Lens and Shutter and walked out with an instax camera. It's been amazingly fun and makes me appreciate single moments a lot more so.

I'm trying to stick with my kitchen job, even though it's the most disorganized and chaotic mess of humans sometimes... So far, so good. My other job gives me hope and reminds me how...
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almost_missed:

That's real cool can't wait to see your art pieces ^^ I'm planning of designing prints for shirts to sell as well but I'm in the process of designing. Just hope things goes well. Good luck on your new venture babe! May the moolahs come in by the truckloads :D

keziasuicide:

@almost_missed Thanks!! I just need to believe in myself a bit more. You never know if you can succeed without trying.

Closure

Closure in the form of a hug is all I think I'll need. Things have been weird with me and a special dude friend for a while. I thought we were going to start dating, but instead he ended up ejecting me from his life completely. I'd text him and no response. He came into the coffee shop in the morning on his...
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almost_missed:

Hope things turn out for the better. And if things are sour with yr sis I hope that you guys can patch up without a hitch. ^^

keziasuicide:

@almost_missed Thanks!! I'm not too concerned. Life is pretty wonderful at that.

Added a Splash of Colour

I started my chest tattoo in September, finally got around to another sitting. My tolerance wasn't as high as I had hoped that day, so I had to throw in the towel after the objects had been filled in. I'll leave the background for another time.

theatombomb:

Looking great!  I'm waiting on my ribs to heal up so I can go in for the final session on that.  Anything above the ribs sucks...doesn't it?!

Holidays

2

Holidays are a weird one. I have a lot of mixed emotions when it comes to my family...

I hope your holidays were spent with people who make you happy.

Just know that Kezia loves you here in SG land.

<3

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keziasuicide:

My mixed emotions are endless. I endlessly change my mind about how I feel. I appreciate your thoughtful wishes! I hope you have a wonderful New Year and I hope we get to keep chatting on here for a while to come ;) @theatombomb

theatombomb:

Wow!  I just realized that what I wrote was kinda confusing...lol.  My bad.  Not sure why I worded my post that way.  At any rate...I'm sure we'll be able to continue chatting on here for quite some time...I would enjoy that very much!  And thank you for your well wishes on a New Year...much appreciated...which just so happens to be birthday wishes as well.  :)  I'm a New Year's Eve baby...to clear that up.  :)