Finally, a Blog by Me
For a little while now, I've been asking myself what I want out of life. Its probably one of those things that everyone around my age asks themselves. But where to start, that's the real question. what do i want?
i want to quit smoking. you're last cigarette is always the best. i smoked that last one slow. breathing in deeply. exhaling slow. taking it all in. is that the "last" one? realistically, probably not but i wish it is.
i want a steady girlfriend. some one i can talk to about my day. someone i can hold at night. someone i can kiss. really kiss. Not just someone to fuck but someone i really care about. I would be lying if I said I wasn't looking for her but i would be lying if i said I was looking hard. Have I set the bar too high? Have my standards been set too high by past girlfriends who were way too good for me? i don't know. That's a whole other "where to start" question for me. Once again I don't know the answer. I don't know what I'm doing or not doing.
I want to travel the world. To travel, you have to have money. To have money, you have to work. To work, you can't take weeks or months off at a time to globe trot. It definitely would be easier if i was rich, but I'm not. thus, the struggle continues.
I want to go back to school, but I don't know for what. i don't want to go to school for another year and do gen ed classes and get bored and leave, again. When I go back to school I don't want to leave without a diploma. or a PhD.
I want to be in shape. but i like eating bad food and i hate exercising. I'm not motivated enough to take better care of myself.
I like living above my means. I just wish I could afford it.
This is writers block at its best. Or at its most mediocre. I should be writing my story right now but I've gotten stuck at were I am and with who my character is. I haven't written anything in a couple of weeks now whereas when I started that story I couldn't type it out fast enough. Progress, not only in my writing but in all aspects of my life, is at a stand still. Working at a job I find hard to care about, drinking more beer than I probably should,going to bed late and waking up early. That is what most of my days consist of. I know I'm being a little bitch right now. I know that if i want to better my situation I just have to do it. no one can do it for me.
But as I said, progress is at a stand still.
For a little while now, I've been asking myself what I want out of life. Its probably one of those things that everyone around my age asks themselves. But where to start, that's the real question. what do i want?
i want to quit smoking. you're last cigarette is always the best. i smoked that last one slow. breathing in deeply. exhaling slow. taking it all in. is that the "last" one? realistically, probably not but i wish it is.
i want a steady girlfriend. some one i can talk to about my day. someone i can hold at night. someone i can kiss. really kiss. Not just someone to fuck but someone i really care about. I would be lying if I said I wasn't looking for her but i would be lying if i said I was looking hard. Have I set the bar too high? Have my standards been set too high by past girlfriends who were way too good for me? i don't know. That's a whole other "where to start" question for me. Once again I don't know the answer. I don't know what I'm doing or not doing.
I want to travel the world. To travel, you have to have money. To have money, you have to work. To work, you can't take weeks or months off at a time to globe trot. It definitely would be easier if i was rich, but I'm not. thus, the struggle continues.
I want to go back to school, but I don't know for what. i don't want to go to school for another year and do gen ed classes and get bored and leave, again. When I go back to school I don't want to leave without a diploma. or a PhD.
I want to be in shape. but i like eating bad food and i hate exercising. I'm not motivated enough to take better care of myself.
I like living above my means. I just wish I could afford it.
This is writers block at its best. Or at its most mediocre. I should be writing my story right now but I've gotten stuck at were I am and with who my character is. I haven't written anything in a couple of weeks now whereas when I started that story I couldn't type it out fast enough. Progress, not only in my writing but in all aspects of my life, is at a stand still. Working at a job I find hard to care about, drinking more beer than I probably should,going to bed late and waking up early. That is what most of my days consist of. I know I'm being a little bitch right now. I know that if i want to better my situation I just have to do it. no one can do it for me.
But as I said, progress is at a stand still.
VIEW 3 of 3 COMMENTS
kevdawgg:
Hey! Thanks...I guess.
carnelian:
ah have fun!!