If sex is like baseball, then you cant run from first base to third, and then try to steal home. Cause even if you manage to slide across home base, you wont score any points.
Ive hit a bit of a roadblock in my relationship.
The sex aspect has died out, and ive started to become very particular about it all.
The last guy called me frigid at this stage.
He had a point in there somewhere under that cutting remark. I do tend to self sabatoge at this point of things. Its not that my sex drives dies off, instead I decide that i want it even more, but im just never happy with the sex thats being offered up. Its just never quite what im looking for. He kissed me here, and i wanted to be kissed there. He wasnt firm enough with me. He wasnt gentle enough. I wanted sex, he just wasnt pushing my buttons right to get there. I wonder, how much of this is me, and how much of it is the men that Im dating.
I got spanked 16 times last nite by the bartender im crushing on at work. Everytime i screw up an order, forget an order, or steal his bar ashtrays to bring to my tables, he gives me a little tic mark on a napkin and promises at the end of the nite I'll pay up. I made sure i got a lot of marks. As promised by the other waitress (who said to me "Have you ever been spanked by him? Ohhh!! His spankings are wonderful!! " and then 'helped me out' by getting ahold of the cocktail napkin he was using and adding a few more marks) the spankings really were quite wonderful. And then I left with my man hoping that the little tingle that had started was going to help get things started with us, and the bartender went home to his girlfriend.
Its amazing how we can hide behind the allure of the unattainable. Its certainly not anything wrong with me, I can get perfectly aroused by this spoken for man, or that one across the ocean. Yes, if it werent for those outside forces that i just have no control over, I could find a relationship that doesnt make me frigid 3 months in. I just dont have the right ones available to me, im sure thats all it is....
Is there some tendancy for men to slack off in the amount of effort they put into getting the girl to want sex once a relationship has been established? In those first moments of a relationship sex is an aspiration, but youve not yet been promised that outcome. For those first few dates foreplay can last hours. Days even. One of my mothers men commented that he read/heard somewhere that some women need days of foreplay. And he shared this like it was the oddest notion. Who could sustain foreplay for days? And mum and i both just tilted our heads in thought and said "Yea, that sounds about right." Foreplay is more than a few kisses and just groping my tits, and rubbing on my clit a bit. And in the beging this seems obvious. There is so much attention to the process, the goal is there, but its not where all the concentration is focused. But after youve had sex a couple hundred times (or less) it starts to seem like a given. Yes, we will have sex, because thats what we do. And everyone looses focus on the process. Its all or nothing. You had sex last nite when you went home togehter. Or you didnt. Wouldnt it be great if you could say "Last nite we went home and we excited each other for hours. Ohh yea, and at the end we had sex." The irony is that in the beginging the sheer excitement of a new relationship is often enough to set things a-twitter. The further into things you get, the less excitement there is just for the sake of the relationship itself, and the more you need that attention to the little details that come before the end. Why do we skip to the end, just when we need the journey there the most?
The fact that I completely lack the ability to communicate effectively in the bedroom is probably the bigest issue standing in my way. If i coud just say "Baby, the way your sucking on my nipples might seem nice and all, but its not really doing anything for me at the moment, so could you try maybe kissing my neck instead." or "Why are you putting that condom on? Im not wet yet, so youve got a lot of work ahead of you before youll be needing that." BUt instead i just pull away from what i dont like, and hope he will stop and try something new on his own. However, this plan tends to fail when instead he gives up, and just tries to cuddle up with me and sleep. Last nite I found that particularly frustrating and i was quite determined to end this little dry spell and have some sex and damn it i was going to enjoy it! So i flipped him in the head. Right between the eyes. The shocking jolt to full consciousness and that look of "Ohh no she didnt!" on his face was rather amusing. But also left me with the thought that i have some of the oddest and most illconcieved compulsions sometimes. Either way i broke down in histerical gigling and he tackled me and proceeded to flick me every random place he could thing of. Ever had your cunt flicked? Its a rather odd experience.
Either way, there was still no sex....
Ive hit a bit of a roadblock in my relationship.
The sex aspect has died out, and ive started to become very particular about it all.
The last guy called me frigid at this stage.
He had a point in there somewhere under that cutting remark. I do tend to self sabatoge at this point of things. Its not that my sex drives dies off, instead I decide that i want it even more, but im just never happy with the sex thats being offered up. Its just never quite what im looking for. He kissed me here, and i wanted to be kissed there. He wasnt firm enough with me. He wasnt gentle enough. I wanted sex, he just wasnt pushing my buttons right to get there. I wonder, how much of this is me, and how much of it is the men that Im dating.
I got spanked 16 times last nite by the bartender im crushing on at work. Everytime i screw up an order, forget an order, or steal his bar ashtrays to bring to my tables, he gives me a little tic mark on a napkin and promises at the end of the nite I'll pay up. I made sure i got a lot of marks. As promised by the other waitress (who said to me "Have you ever been spanked by him? Ohhh!! His spankings are wonderful!! " and then 'helped me out' by getting ahold of the cocktail napkin he was using and adding a few more marks) the spankings really were quite wonderful. And then I left with my man hoping that the little tingle that had started was going to help get things started with us, and the bartender went home to his girlfriend.
Its amazing how we can hide behind the allure of the unattainable. Its certainly not anything wrong with me, I can get perfectly aroused by this spoken for man, or that one across the ocean. Yes, if it werent for those outside forces that i just have no control over, I could find a relationship that doesnt make me frigid 3 months in. I just dont have the right ones available to me, im sure thats all it is....
Is there some tendancy for men to slack off in the amount of effort they put into getting the girl to want sex once a relationship has been established? In those first moments of a relationship sex is an aspiration, but youve not yet been promised that outcome. For those first few dates foreplay can last hours. Days even. One of my mothers men commented that he read/heard somewhere that some women need days of foreplay. And he shared this like it was the oddest notion. Who could sustain foreplay for days? And mum and i both just tilted our heads in thought and said "Yea, that sounds about right." Foreplay is more than a few kisses and just groping my tits, and rubbing on my clit a bit. And in the beging this seems obvious. There is so much attention to the process, the goal is there, but its not where all the concentration is focused. But after youve had sex a couple hundred times (or less) it starts to seem like a given. Yes, we will have sex, because thats what we do. And everyone looses focus on the process. Its all or nothing. You had sex last nite when you went home togehter. Or you didnt. Wouldnt it be great if you could say "Last nite we went home and we excited each other for hours. Ohh yea, and at the end we had sex." The irony is that in the beginging the sheer excitement of a new relationship is often enough to set things a-twitter. The further into things you get, the less excitement there is just for the sake of the relationship itself, and the more you need that attention to the little details that come before the end. Why do we skip to the end, just when we need the journey there the most?
The fact that I completely lack the ability to communicate effectively in the bedroom is probably the bigest issue standing in my way. If i coud just say "Baby, the way your sucking on my nipples might seem nice and all, but its not really doing anything for me at the moment, so could you try maybe kissing my neck instead." or "Why are you putting that condom on? Im not wet yet, so youve got a lot of work ahead of you before youll be needing that." BUt instead i just pull away from what i dont like, and hope he will stop and try something new on his own. However, this plan tends to fail when instead he gives up, and just tries to cuddle up with me and sleep. Last nite I found that particularly frustrating and i was quite determined to end this little dry spell and have some sex and damn it i was going to enjoy it! So i flipped him in the head. Right between the eyes. The shocking jolt to full consciousness and that look of "Ohh no she didnt!" on his face was rather amusing. But also left me with the thought that i have some of the oddest and most illconcieved compulsions sometimes. Either way i broke down in histerical gigling and he tackled me and proceeded to flick me every random place he could thing of. Ever had your cunt flicked? Its a rather odd experience.
Either way, there was still no sex....
tatertot:
At this moment I can only think that you need a man who is intuitive, apparently they are hard to find?