kes

Fuck, I'm broke again. I'm such a loser. Well, at least I have plenty of space on my hard drive, two cameras and tape stock. I can shoot and edit to my heart's content. all I need is two more days and I swear I'll be done. Just two. Saturday and sunday.

I've somehow fallen into a relationship with someone at work. Very odd how these things happen. My last relationship was with someone I worked with (different job) and it ended badly and I swore I would never again date someone I worked with and here I am again in the same boat. Not only that but I think I'm attracted to a different person at work.

I told the first girl I would take her surfing (which I haven't done in some time). What I really should do is just break it off before we start getting serious. It just feels too much like my last girlfriend. She even looks like my last girlfriend, for Christ's sakes. Bad sign. Relationships are ridiculous.

I went through a period, when I was younger, of falling in love with girls. One after the other. but I didn't know how to express myself. I never knew what to say to them. My emotions were so huge they dwarfed everything around me.

Then I fell completely in love with one girl who didn't feel the same way about me and it smashed me apart. I think subconsciously I made a decision to never let that happen again because I never wanted to be in so much pain again. And it hasn't. I've cared for women and cared about them and loved them, but I haven't been in love

not like that

I'm so effing deep. I should just write goddamn fortune cookies.

Frederick Wiseman is the greatest documentary filmmaker of all time.
Someday I will make a film as good as "My Name is Ivan"