
My best friend. My sister. My soul mate.
She enlisted two years ago. Not out of support of the current administration or the war efforts, but for lack of other opportunities. I came to visit her in L.A. just after she did this. She drove me out to the beach on a cloudy night, and we walked hand in hand for what felt like miles in the chilled sand. When she stopped and got down on one knee I knew something had changed. Out of her pocket she pulled a small black velvet box and smiled. "Happy birthday...." Inside a gold ring with a diamond. "I promise that I will come back to you. I want you to know that I will always love you." The ocean absorbed the sound of my tears and I still wear the ring every day.
Yesterday she got her orders: Afghanistan. She was supposed to come home to me in Februray, she was supposed to be done. She was coming back. They stopped her. She's going, and I can't change it. I can't make her safe, make her stay. I don't know when I'm going to see her again if ever.
She is giving me power of attorney and in the case of her death I will be responsible for all her affairs. I can't stand that I have to think of these things. I feel numb. Closed off, irrational. I want to do something radical and decisive. But my world is slipping away from me, and everything seems wrong.
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I'll keep you all of you in my thoughts.