Alright, so @missy and @rambo gave us homework, "How has SG changed your life?" So, I’m gonna do my homework this time…. In a very long time :p
I heard about Suicide Girls about 7 or 8 years ago from my friend Molly, she showed me a movie actually, The Italian Villa. The women in the movie were striking, radiating positive rays, and alternative exquisiteness. More than anything, I saw confidence, self-respect, and they were sexually aware of who they were and what they possessed.This is when SG really changed my life to be honest, when I first watched that movie with my friend.
At this moment in time I struggled with a lot of body issues. I was bulimic, in other words, I puked up whatever I ate. I also was addicted to some serious, hard drugs. I never cared about my life; I seriously just hated myself for no reason. I had that issue since I was a child, yet I will admit it gave me an interesting perspective on life. So, then in the middle of ecstasy and coke bumps, my friend shows me this movie, and then I felt like that stupid bitch, that could have been and never did. That movie inspired me to start taking care of myself and become a sexy, confident woman. Yet, I was a drug addict, so I was sidetracked for a long time.
I moved from place to place, one no better than the other. I saw the face of death more than I needed to. I put myself in high-risk situations and then ended up in the hospital. I had to get sober, so I did. Then I started college, met an my amazing friend and talented photographer Ashlie. She asked if she could take pictures of me for her class, I said sure, why not? I had done modeling for 5 years at this point (though not very successful with where I was). Anyways, she took this picture and sent it to me on FaceBook, the same day I saw SG was having a contest to have a photo shoot with an SG photographer and have a chance of becoming an SG.
Of course I took this opportunity to put that picture from Ashlie to SG. A week or so later, I was working an event and my phone just kept buzzing the whole time. I finally got to see what it was and boom, I was in the top 50 girls! I was literally jumping up and down with excitement. Out of 5,000 submissions I was in the top 50?! I couldn’t believed SG picked me. I was overjoyed, then a couple days later I was in the top 4! I got a message from them that I was chosen to have a photo shoot with an SG photographer! That seriously was my happiest moment ever. I picked @alissa of course and flew to Ohio with my friend Alison. Now I had never done any sort of nude modeling EVER before this, I was nervous, but I was ready to show my body, beauty and confidence. I met @alissa and she was the sweetest, stoner ever <3 And all the people, the experience, just wow. I was exposed to a different life, and I wanted this life forever.
I did it, I became a Suicide Girl. I love this life of mine; my boyfriend, parents, family, friends know about this and fully accept who I am and what I do too. I have never felt so confident and good about myself. More than anything SG has changed my mental attitude about myself and other women. In this day and age, women can be so catty towards one another. We need to learn to live together and embrace what we have. Do not talk bad about one, it just shows your insecurities. If everyone was as open as SG, we probably would not have war. It’s about loving yourself, loving each other, and most importantly, loving yourself and accepting yourself and everyone else for who they are.
This was not an easy homework assignment, admitting my defeats and what not, but I admit them because I know this family is a forgiving one. Thank you Suicide Girls <3 I love you all. Thank you for reading.
xoxo Kentessa cannabis
P.S. Photo by Ashlie Dacosta, my very talented friend I was talking about :D
