It gets harder and it gets easier.
My dad is more coherent now than he was all of last week. I think it's probably sinking in for him that he's nearing the end, at least because of the number of visitors he's getting. The plan was to transfer him out of intensive care today because his vitals have stabilized. He's at the point where he can no longer eat, and we are not planning on putting him on a feeding tube. He'll probably die in the hospital this week or next.
On the positive side, I'm thinking about the last few years of his life. He got to see my brother married and his grandson who was born just two months ago. He also lived a rich life over the last five years (prognosis for his bone marrow disease is ~2 years.) He loved to travel, and he made it to Africa, Thailand twice, Mexico, Italy, Germany, Alaska, Georgia, Florida, the Grand Canyon, and maybe some I'm forgetting. These trips were risky and he took them even so.
And on my side, I have some grieving to do, but a lot of it I've already done over the last couple of years. This is all sad, but I have to be grateful for modern medicine giving me a few years to rebuild a relationship with someone I once hated!
My dad is more coherent now than he was all of last week. I think it's probably sinking in for him that he's nearing the end, at least because of the number of visitors he's getting. The plan was to transfer him out of intensive care today because his vitals have stabilized. He's at the point where he can no longer eat, and we are not planning on putting him on a feeding tube. He'll probably die in the hospital this week or next.
On the positive side, I'm thinking about the last few years of his life. He got to see my brother married and his grandson who was born just two months ago. He also lived a rich life over the last five years (prognosis for his bone marrow disease is ~2 years.) He loved to travel, and he made it to Africa, Thailand twice, Mexico, Italy, Germany, Alaska, Georgia, Florida, the Grand Canyon, and maybe some I'm forgetting. These trips were risky and he took them even so.
And on my side, I have some grieving to do, but a lot of it I've already done over the last couple of years. This is all sad, but I have to be grateful for modern medicine giving me a few years to rebuild a relationship with someone I once hated!
VIEW 4 of 4 COMMENTS
melli:
I'm sorry to hear about your dad. It's wonderful that you were able to rebuild your relationship!
yo_la_jimbo:
Thanks for the advice about my dad, it was very helpful. My problems seem minor after reading your entry though, and you and your dad will be in my thoughts. Take care.