I don't get it. One day I'm on top of the world - great kids, great house, great job, hang gliding, firedancing, good friends, cute girls giving me hugs, the works. I am complete and content.
And the next day I am this sucking void of need and frustration, casting about desperately, searching for love, sex, and affirmation.
Apparently, socially, I have been coming off as a little needy. Well, that's a euphemism. According to my closest friends, I've been coming off as a LOT needy. Which confuses and confounds me, because on my good days I thought I wasn't needy at all, and on my bad days I thought I was hiding it better than that. Apparently I overestimated my acting skills. In fact, apparently, I misjudge just about every social situation I am in.
So here I am: educated, articulate, well-rounded, adventurous, interesting, well liked, respected, appreciated, easy on the eyes, and completely fucking broken.
So I'm off to another hang gliding lesson. Probably my second mountain launch today. Tonight I expect to dance with fire at a party. I will meet and greet and have a grand old time. And for reasons which are still not entirely clear to me, I will probably be sleeping alone.
My friends ask me "How are you?" The answer is D) All Of The Above.
And the next day I am this sucking void of need and frustration, casting about desperately, searching for love, sex, and affirmation.
Apparently, socially, I have been coming off as a little needy. Well, that's a euphemism. According to my closest friends, I've been coming off as a LOT needy. Which confuses and confounds me, because on my good days I thought I wasn't needy at all, and on my bad days I thought I was hiding it better than that. Apparently I overestimated my acting skills. In fact, apparently, I misjudge just about every social situation I am in.
So here I am: educated, articulate, well-rounded, adventurous, interesting, well liked, respected, appreciated, easy on the eyes, and completely fucking broken.
So I'm off to another hang gliding lesson. Probably my second mountain launch today. Tonight I expect to dance with fire at a party. I will meet and greet and have a grand old time. And for reasons which are still not entirely clear to me, I will probably be sleeping alone.
My friends ask me "How are you?" The answer is D) All Of The Above.
corvus:
Appriciation