keltdruid

i am thinking of leaving this site...just so many other things I could devote my time and money to. Not sure I am getting out of this what I expected/wanted. I have met some cool friends on here..was hoping I could network and get to see some really cool people here...and I have; but just not enough for me to continue spending cash on. Not really sure what I wanted...just a community I could spend time wiith and hopefully get out of this shit-hole I live in...and take my mind off of the misery that is my life...
It has been 10 months today since my ex and daughter moved out and it still hurts as if it were the first day...I am so tired of crying over her...but I still love her deeply and miss her with every fiber of my being. Yes, she was an insinsitive depressed drunk...but I think she loved me as best she could...my health went south and I had to take medication that effected my sex drive and she suffered...after I got on meds that restored my drive..it was too late...it was a year ago that I opened my big mouth and told her that I did not feel appreciated because I was working 60+ hrs a week to keep us out of debt and she spend at least 100.00 a week on cds, un-needed clothing and shit..not to mention her 400.00 dollar a month phone bill. It was like I kicked her when she was already down..she was fired in January 04 from her good paying job...she never smiled again until after she left July 23rd...I have not been to work in over 4 days and I cry all day and cry myself to sleep everynight...My therapist says this may have been triggered by me seeing Rhiannon (my daughter) last month...all I know is I miss them so much I would take her back..if she would just get help.
I have tried to move on...but every time I try I get stopped and thrown back to here...I am too upset to keep typing on this site for now....