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As for feeling more loved and desired when you are giving to someone rather than waiting around for someone to give to you, that reminds me of something my mom used to tell me when I was a kid. I think it was the best advice she ever gave me. She said that, in order to have a successful relationship with a partner, you must first be happy with yourself, without the need for a partner. Otherwise, you will always be expecting your partner to fill the void in your self-esteem, and that is not a recipe for a happy, healthy relationship.