kellymonster

My fella had arranged to move in with a mutual friend after he'd relocated and found his feet down here. The relocation happened, he's slowly finding his feet but it seems that he won't be moving in with the friend. The friend has decided to move in with his girlfriend of 2 months. While you would expect for Matt to be the one that's freaking out, the truth is it's selfish little me doing all the worrying. I know I've said it before but I'm just no good at this 'life sharing' business. We've gone from long distance to room sharing over night and I'm finding it really hard to adjust to the change. My room is no longer mine, it's ours. I am no longer 'me', I am part of something bigger but a lot less independent... 'we'. I even find myself saying it. 'Shall we tidy the flat?'. What's wrong with me?! I was more than capable of doing it as 'me' before.

I really miss the peace and quiet of sitting in my room and reading a book (I've been reading the same book since he arrived. Nearly 2 months) or just pottering around aimlessly in my flat with my thoughts for company. Now I feel like a hostess, an entertainer. Hmmm... I probably burden myself with these feelings. After all he is a grown man who can take care of himself. Our relationship still suffers though. I'm grouchy, snappy and basically just a really shit girlfriend.