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kelland

Bucyrus, Ohio

Member Since 2004

Followers 232 Following 133

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Monday Aug 31, 2009

Aug 31, 2009
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Tonight is my last night in Chicago.

I have only been here two months granted, that isnt really enough time to make a proper evaluation of the city. But, I do love Chicago. It is a big city with humble accents. I needed that humbleness. After all, I am just a small-town girl who talks a big game but, in the end, is rather easily amused.

I didnt love living alone in a room-sized apartment in a rich neighborhood with a mean Russian doorwoman. I didnt love getting emotional and having needless arguments with my loved on via telephone and internet correspondence. I didnt love being broke nearly the entire time I was here. I didnt love sleeping thirteen hours a day with little motivation to leave my room. In the end, it is difficult to be alone. I suppose there is comfort in solitude but to a certain degree. I am stronger for having lived through this experience and no doubt I am a richer person for it. But that doesnt mean that at the end of the day, I felt sad, lonely, and homesick, for the first real time in my life.

Though I wish my internship wouldve gone on another month, I am thankful to be leaving the city at a time when I have $4 to my name and am living off of toast and spaghetti.

But there are some other things.

I am thankful that Andrew was here for the latter half of the summer to be my much-needed buddy/moral support. I am thankful that Carrie was able to visit for a few days last week following her return from France. I am thankful that my high school chum Kevin randomly made his way here to spend a weekend with me. I am thankful that Charles was with me, in one way or the other, through the thick and thin of my trials and tribulations to remind me that it wasnt all so bad. I am thankful that I worked with a wonderfully down-to-earth, fun, and insightful photographer, even if we werent as busy as wed like to have been throughout the course of my internship. I am thankful that she liked cool music, took me out to lunch every day, bought me coffee, and opened up her personal life, including her family, to me a complete stranger 13 years her minor. I am thankful that I was given the opportunity (and the grant thanks OU!) to come here and venture outside of my comfort zone. I am thankful that I now have a much more realistic approach to not only a future in this business, but a future in the city.

Even still, I leave Chicago with emotions strung in every which way.

I guess, in the pattern of all things me, I wouldnt have it any other way.
VIEW 6 of 6 COMMENTS
cassiopeia:
I knew 8 1/2 was a movie but I always thought it was just one of those pretentious movies that everyone says is their favorite but is actually unwatchable. Earlier this year though I watched it and I was pleasantly surprised. It is so good. Please watch it.

Nevin and I watched Mullholland Drive when we were in California. I didn't care for it then but I have been thinking about giving it another shot.

Chris really likes Willie Nelson. He got me into him. His album RedHeaded Stranger is a work of art. You should invest some money into getting a copy. If you're not fully satisfied, I will buy it off of you (although I know you won't regret it).

And your bf's photography is amazing. He is very talented. And cute.

So I guess since your blog is from yesterday, you're already back or are on your way. How does it feel?
Sep 2, 2009
zgrat:
yes. yes i am a geek. and i'm ok with that biggrin
Sep 8, 2009

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