At this point, I have been on holiday break for approximately 11 days. One of the perks of attending THEE Ohio University is that winter break is about 7 weeks long. Normally I would type out the word for the number 7, but it's break which means I don't give two shits about such scholastic accuracies. Ah.
I have very little to show for the time I've been off. I've only spent two (<-- well, damn) whole days at my home in Bucyrus. The rest of the time I've spent in Columbus with Dan. Ohio State is still in session, which makes my life rather dull at times. Nevertheless, I like it here. The house is always clean and good-smelling, thanks to Joel and his obsessive-compulsive disorder. I sleep a lot, usually until three (<-- there I go again, being a smart ass) in the afternoon. Because of my new sleeping schedule, I eat my first meal of the day around six.
The highlights of my stay here have included Motion City Soundtrack at The Newport, Jarrod's birthday party, watching the entire sixth season of The Simpsons on DVD, having lunch with Dan's friend Sarah, getting two new shirts at Target, doing lots of laundry, editing Dan's English paper until 6:30 AM, and walking in the damn cold to and from campus to meet him after class. We watched the last 30 minutes of Forrest Gump the other night and I leaked mascara-tears all over Dan's orange pillow.
Overall, I don't really like that I'm sleeping so much and eating so irregularly. I feel like a slug. I also feel highly unproductive. And poor. Mostly poor. After doing some meager Christmas shopping on-line, I have about $23 to my name.
I am trying to learn how to handle some of the stronger emotions that I too often let overcome my day-to-day activities. I have been trying to be a more balanced, healthy person in this way. It has been difficult for me, and I think I'm going to need some help via counseling. I have realized that I have so much bitterness inside of me, and it has affected my friendships and other personal relationships. Don't be fooled -- it's not as traumatizing as it seems. Nothing is falling apart, here. But I get myself in these ruts. I don't think clearly. I try to run away. I cry for hours. And it's just not normal, no matter how much I try to convince myself. I simply cannot deal with grievous situations in an affective, healthy way, and that's essentially the jest of it. But about a week ago, I decided that I need to work on some form of self-recovery, and I have been trying ever since. So far, it's okay.
I am also trying to forgive people from my past. Sounds corny, I know. But I think it's a necessary step in this journey I'm taking. I've had some surreal conversations as of late that have allowed me to find peace with the past, and I am grateful. However, some people will continue to disappoint me. I guess that's an inevitable feature of adolescence... losing friends, making friends, and finding some kind of meaning in it all.
Let me update you about my fall quarter grades, because I know you care as much as I. I received a solid A in philosophy (a personal triumph) and anthropology, an A- in my Photoshop class, and a B in history, which was a gift. I fucking hated that history class. It was a mistake from the start, and throughout the quarter I tried to tell myself that it would get better. I actually earned a 79.6% in that class, which is a C+, but because of extra credit and curving, I walked away from the hellish experience with a B. Not even a B-. I don't really know what's up with that. The grading standards for that class were extremely questionable. I'll fight it, but I'll let it live. I have no reason to complain. My GPA is still sitting at a 3.9, so I'm content. Additionally, I don't care if mentioning my GPA seems like unnecessary boasting. It is. And you'd boast, too.
My Thanksgiving was pleasant. I had plenty of veggie-friendly cuisine, and Dan and I played board games for over two hours with Shannon and her Dan. T'was magical.
Joel bought Dan and me (<-- is that correct? sounds funny...) Brand New tickets for Christmas. The show is on the 12th of December. I'm excited. I'm also excited because Dan and I are going to see Anton Corbijn's film about Joy Division tonight. Weee. [POST-EDIT: IT WAS AMAZING. GO SEE IT.]
Done done done done done!
I have very little to show for the time I've been off. I've only spent two (<-- well, damn) whole days at my home in Bucyrus. The rest of the time I've spent in Columbus with Dan. Ohio State is still in session, which makes my life rather dull at times. Nevertheless, I like it here. The house is always clean and good-smelling, thanks to Joel and his obsessive-compulsive disorder. I sleep a lot, usually until three (<-- there I go again, being a smart ass) in the afternoon. Because of my new sleeping schedule, I eat my first meal of the day around six.
The highlights of my stay here have included Motion City Soundtrack at The Newport, Jarrod's birthday party, watching the entire sixth season of The Simpsons on DVD, having lunch with Dan's friend Sarah, getting two new shirts at Target, doing lots of laundry, editing Dan's English paper until 6:30 AM, and walking in the damn cold to and from campus to meet him after class. We watched the last 30 minutes of Forrest Gump the other night and I leaked mascara-tears all over Dan's orange pillow.
Overall, I don't really like that I'm sleeping so much and eating so irregularly. I feel like a slug. I also feel highly unproductive. And poor. Mostly poor. After doing some meager Christmas shopping on-line, I have about $23 to my name.
I am trying to learn how to handle some of the stronger emotions that I too often let overcome my day-to-day activities. I have been trying to be a more balanced, healthy person in this way. It has been difficult for me, and I think I'm going to need some help via counseling. I have realized that I have so much bitterness inside of me, and it has affected my friendships and other personal relationships. Don't be fooled -- it's not as traumatizing as it seems. Nothing is falling apart, here. But I get myself in these ruts. I don't think clearly. I try to run away. I cry for hours. And it's just not normal, no matter how much I try to convince myself. I simply cannot deal with grievous situations in an affective, healthy way, and that's essentially the jest of it. But about a week ago, I decided that I need to work on some form of self-recovery, and I have been trying ever since. So far, it's okay.
I am also trying to forgive people from my past. Sounds corny, I know. But I think it's a necessary step in this journey I'm taking. I've had some surreal conversations as of late that have allowed me to find peace with the past, and I am grateful. However, some people will continue to disappoint me. I guess that's an inevitable feature of adolescence... losing friends, making friends, and finding some kind of meaning in it all.
Let me update you about my fall quarter grades, because I know you care as much as I. I received a solid A in philosophy (a personal triumph) and anthropology, an A- in my Photoshop class, and a B in history, which was a gift. I fucking hated that history class. It was a mistake from the start, and throughout the quarter I tried to tell myself that it would get better. I actually earned a 79.6% in that class, which is a C+, but because of extra credit and curving, I walked away from the hellish experience with a B. Not even a B-. I don't really know what's up with that. The grading standards for that class were extremely questionable. I'll fight it, but I'll let it live. I have no reason to complain. My GPA is still sitting at a 3.9, so I'm content. Additionally, I don't care if mentioning my GPA seems like unnecessary boasting. It is. And you'd boast, too.
My Thanksgiving was pleasant. I had plenty of veggie-friendly cuisine, and Dan and I played board games for over two hours with Shannon and her Dan. T'was magical.
Joel bought Dan and me (<-- is that correct? sounds funny...) Brand New tickets for Christmas. The show is on the 12th of December. I'm excited. I'm also excited because Dan and I are going to see Anton Corbijn's film about Joy Division tonight. Weee. [POST-EDIT: IT WAS AMAZING. GO SEE IT.]
Done done done done done!
VIEW 4 of 4 COMMENTS
Some classes are just going to suck like that history class you took. Considering the circumstances it worked out pretty decent in the end. There will always be those classes that stick out in infamy because they were just hellish - I've got 4 semesters in so far and have 4 such classes that just plain sucked and I hated though I had to take them. This also reminds me of something that I'm running into myself - the sooner the GPA goes below 4.0 the better, since it means much less pressure on you now. Maintaining mine was the source of a lot of stress and freaking out on my part in the beginning of the semester and I have since conceded to less studying to preserve my sanity and to just do as well as I can. Easier said than done.