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kekelyn

Member Since 2007

Followers 53 Following 115

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Saturday Jul 28, 2007

Jul 28, 2007
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Well, I'm kind of in a reflective, analytic mood right now.. just thinking about people and what they've done and how it's affected me or vise versa... so much has been going through my head today...I just had to write some of it down.

What I've learned over the past few months on SG would take forever to sum up, but I am going to try to do it anyways because my thoughts have been nagging away at me for release and I have been restricting myself on where to do this.

I've learned that cliques apparently do happen in good old fashion of our high school/college days; it's been hard for me to deal with because I always have an expectation of a certain amount of maturity and common respect, and have learned the hard way a few times, including today, that it is impossible to furthermore expect that from our race, regardless of common interests, etc. I am, however, blessed to know a few people that I can count on to be there, that uphold great morals and know how and when to exhibit certain behaviours within reason.

I've learned it's hard as hell trying to sensor/edit myself on my feelings, thoughts or opinions; but have realized I have done it A LOT lately in avoidance of starting any kind of row with good friends, or friends of friends. I've learned bottling it up is not a way either. I am who I am.

I've learned that even though I am a nice, sweet and honest person; people will still dislike me. I guess it hits home, but I need to learn and shrug it off that not everyone gets along with each other; even if they have barely talked to each other or even met each other in person. People are shallow; I need to remember this; they judge on small actions and big actions, and sometimes on actions that mean nothing at all. It's interesting to see how people that dislike me view me; how I, saying something nice to someone, would be turned into something completely different would definitely rack my mind.

I've learned that one person can make a lot of difference in the world. They can make and break a friendship, they can tear down and ruin a single act of good will and hope; and for the greater good; they can create a bright ray of sunshine that shines through your dull, gray and dark day.

I've learned that attention is something hard to gain, keep or apply. I've had days where I leave a common discussion room because said objects of my body aren't being showed, therefore I am ignored. It is definitely a popularity contest at times. But I've learned that sometimes the attention is not always what I've wanted, it brings certain aspects, people and events with it that I don't care to involve myself with.

I've had many crushes, the majority have never lasted long; some have ended badly. I've done things I regret; and I've developed some kind of incomprehensible feelings for someone. I've learned it's still easy to get hurt, even though it is the internet. I've learned to never get involved with someone who has a significant other. But I feel I have made a life long friend.

I've learned that my words and other's words are easily mistaken and misunderstood for something else. And I've seen how it explodes into a battle of pride, hurt, jealousy and entitlement. Nonetheless, I've seen words dramatically change and brighten up someone's day.

I've learned to except that I can't help everyone. And those that do cry out for help; sometimes I am just not the person able to do so. They chose others over me; and I have to learn that it is O.K for it to be that way.

I've learned to be more confident about certain aspects of my body. I've posted/said/and done things I would not have considered ever doing without huge regret/fear and I think that would not have been done without the kindness and support (and maybe sometimes perv-ness) of some of the members here.

There's been a lot of negativity hanging around lately; and I hoping whomever and whatever is going on, sorts itself out right in the end. There are fantastic people on this site that I am glad and proud to know; and for them I want to say thank you for such a great experience on SG. For the others, you are dull in comparison.


kiss Keke
VIEW 9 of 9 COMMENTS
stuntcock:
Sounds like you have learned some tough but essential lessons, but its best to learn them now instead of later, where they might have cut much deeper.

My advice is to always love yourself, feel lucky if you can count true friends on one hand, and never fall for someone online unless you atleast meet them in person first. (it MIGHT work but chance are slight, its not worth the risk!)
Jul 28, 2007
misterdoom:
We live, we learn, we grow. Ideally anyways. Looks like your doing a fine job at the learning and growing part. :-)
Jul 28, 2007

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