Ok, I've been pondering this recently, and I thinkI've finally got it all figured out. This is about the recent breakup, so if you're not interested in hearing about it, stop reading. If, however you actually wanna read about it, read on. I understand why we broke up, simple, done, fine. But I've been really happy about it and this is what has confused me. Well, I think i've finally figured it out. When she and I were together, I was fucking MISERABLE most of the time, and I think it's mostly cause she made me feel like shit because of just who I am. I'm quiet, and I don't go out very often cause of my job. Now, here's the really weird thing. I always joke about offing myself, but I never really considered it very strongly except when I was going with her. Now, stop me if I'm wrong, but I thought the person you're dating was supposed to make you feel GOOD about yourself, and appreciate yourself and like yourself for who you are. So when I say I'm happy with us being broken up, and being happy with being single, I'm not fucking around. I'm THRILLED with it, cause I haven't thought of doing any horrible misdeeds to myself even ONCE since we've seperated. Now I'll always care for her, and yada yada yada, and I"m happy to be friends with her, but the odds of me wanting to go out with her again are about as likely as me getting pregnant to a three headed liger. I'm happy she broke up with me. Period. Now, I know one of you loyal readers happens to know her, and I must say this specifically to you. Please don't tell her I wrote this, I don't want her to hate me. I just wanted to jot these few thoughts down and share it with a few friends who might wanna know.
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Yes smoking loads is always fun.
Life is going great for me right now, just feel detached somewhat.