Invention #426
The Drunk Slayer
Ever get sick of hearing about auto accidents in which an entire family of fifteen, including the quintuplets, were slain by some drunken asshole who staggered to his feet unscathed amongst the wreckage? Well not anymore!
With the amazing new Drunk Slayer (TM), you can be sure that everytime you hear of an accident involving an inebriated driver, you can be sure the bastard's slipped this mortal coil.
But how does it work? I'll tell you!
Once the amazing Drunk Slayer is installed in an automobile, it automatically checks the air inside the car for its percentage of alcohol. If that percentage exceeds the legal limit, the safety mechanism for the Drunk Slayer, locateed securely inside the car's steering column, is removed, arming the Drunk Slayer. Much like an airbag (of death), the now-armed Drunk Slayer activates only when a serious collision is detected, at which point it hurls a 3" diameter javelin directly into the oncoming chest cavity of the drunken driver at a speed well above mach 3. Drunk-on-a-stick!
The Drunk Slayer is available for three easy payments of $99.99. Must be 18 to order.
The Drunk Slayer
Ever get sick of hearing about auto accidents in which an entire family of fifteen, including the quintuplets, were slain by some drunken asshole who staggered to his feet unscathed amongst the wreckage? Well not anymore!
With the amazing new Drunk Slayer (TM), you can be sure that everytime you hear of an accident involving an inebriated driver, you can be sure the bastard's slipped this mortal coil.
But how does it work? I'll tell you!
Once the amazing Drunk Slayer is installed in an automobile, it automatically checks the air inside the car for its percentage of alcohol. If that percentage exceeds the legal limit, the safety mechanism for the Drunk Slayer, locateed securely inside the car's steering column, is removed, arming the Drunk Slayer. Much like an airbag (of death), the now-armed Drunk Slayer activates only when a serious collision is detected, at which point it hurls a 3" diameter javelin directly into the oncoming chest cavity of the drunken driver at a speed well above mach 3. Drunk-on-a-stick!
The Drunk Slayer is available for three easy payments of $99.99. Must be 18 to order.
VIEW 5 of 5 COMMENTS
So Ive been gone since the middle of November, lost my internet access, and curbed my addiction.
Anyway, I was wondering, instead of starting a thread, Id ask you.
What happened to AVA?
Thanks man!
J