keepinguasecret

I FINALLY GOT A TEACHING JOB!

ok so it has been forever since i updated this. still no job in the field i graduated with other than subbing in a couple school districts. also 2 major failed attempts at a relationship one lasted over a year until i found out that he only considered me as a booty call the last one used my credit cards and charged porn to them...
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yeaaaaaaaaaa soooo, i graduated, the new boy that was amazing and even came to my graduation turned into a huge dick but i still cant let him go. i have really been single for 10 months, he always told me we were just friends nothing more so thats how i acted and it fucking kicked me in the ass in the end was going to...
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ok so its been awhile since i last updated i graduate in a few days and the new boy and i r doing good still nothing official yet but i am hopeful still looking for a job fuck this economy no one is retiring from teaching cuz they need the money! grrrrr had an interview today first one lol i hope i get it blah!

so me and that boy ended it he was a fucking tool and a jerk. is trying to tell me now that he loves/d me and thats y he pushed me away cuz he was scared fuck that u dont tell someone to go fuck other ppl or be with other ppl if u r scared of them getting close thats u saying im done...
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so yea its been awhile. i made it past last semester and now i am student teaching. i am soooooo nervous i enjoy it though, i am in my 3rd week of the first placement, which is 7 weeks long. the boy and i r still talking, nothing serious yet idk whats going on there yet. BLAH im sitting here trying not to procrastinate and...
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ok i know no one reads my rants on here hence y i am posting them on here.

so yea recently ended the most amazing relationship i have ever had! wasnt totally my choice, the girl ignored me for almost 2 weeks and when she did talk to me she would yell at me or start a fight, so i said talk to me now...
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so i am back, i was kicked out of my major last year by the end of the fall semester, i am back in, but it might happen again and i am a senoir!!!!! idk i am not engaged anymore i am talking to someone though, that is it just talking. idk im supposed to be doing homework but i am on here BLAH im...
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so yea school SUCKS im going to get kicked out of my major again, my one good friend tried to kill herself tonight, im just really depressed anymore. I DONT KNOW WHAT TO DO!! i constantly get the urges like i got in high school i thought i was over that! i guess not. i havent been feeling like im in a relationship w/ my...
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back at school, missing my baby already! classes dont start until tomorrow. going to walk around town today get my exercise in lol going to get tattos priced for me and my baby then just coming back to play some ps2 and actually help with dinner tonight lol last night i just kinda chilled in my room while my room mates cooked, i didnt know...
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so I got a new job, 40 hours a week. Things with the fiance are fucked up, we fight constantly now. I feel like I am losing my mind, my life is spiraling downward. I feel like no one can stop it and when I crash I will crash hard. I have been so depressed lately and I have no idea why. I can not...
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