kedavra

I'm neglectful.
I know I'm that person in my family that doesn't call. And it doesn't really make me feel bad. I'm the older sister my younger sisters hardly know, the older sister who can't remember how old everyone is because she still sees them as babies. I disappear and do my own thing and they always say something like this" "oh, I didn't know you moved." "You lived in San Francisco?" "You didn't tell us you went to Ireland." My current health problems are starting to catch up with me. And I wish I could cuddle into the arms of my 5 sisters and let them be my shoulder to cry on. But then I remember, I don't really cry. Let alone let anyone see me cry. I'm just keeping it all to myself and not telling anyone. I'm just crossing my fingers and hoping for it to all go away before I have to explain myself. Besides, I waited about one year before finally going to the doctors. I don't want to be told I'm dying because I don't want to know ahead of time.


Even though it doesn't make me feel bad. I feel like its all coming to bite me in the ass.